1 00:00:58,070 --> 00:01:01,699 "When two guys pull together, it's teamwork!" 2 00:01:02,708 --> 00:01:06,372 "In foul or sunny weather, it's teamwork!" 3 00:01:07,381 --> 00:01:10,976 "What does it take to make any business climb?" 4 00:01:11,051 --> 00:01:14,681 "You'll find it takes teamwork every time" 5 00:01:15,490 --> 00:01:18,618 "lncidentally, your jokes'll kill the yokels" 6 00:01:18,726 --> 00:01:20,216 "it's teamwork!" 7 00:01:21,696 --> 00:01:25,394 "I love your hokey vocals, it's teamwork!" 8 00:01:26,368 --> 00:01:28,632 "Like Fred Astaire and Ginger and..." 9 00:01:28,704 --> 00:01:33,733 "Twice as sleek, we'll give 'em that teamwork, cheek to cheek!" 10 00:01:35,045 --> 00:01:39,539 "Here we are, just like in Zanzibar" 11 00:01:39,616 --> 00:01:42,016 "Still nothin', still a star!" 12 00:01:42,085 --> 00:01:44,646 "That's quite a stab from old flab!" 13 00:01:45,323 --> 00:01:49,282 "They always pay us plenty for teamwork!" 14 00:01:50,261 --> 00:01:52,422 "We split it 80-20" 15 00:01:52,496 --> 00:01:55,091 - That's teamwork? - Yours is tax-free! 16 00:01:55,167 --> 00:01:58,762 "When others start to part and go off the beam" 17 00:01:58,837 --> 00:02:00,668 "Like Siamese brothers" 18 00:02:01,073 --> 00:02:04,771 "Like Siamese brothers" 19 00:02:04,844 --> 00:02:08,905 "We'll be on each other's team!" 20 00:02:29,204 --> 00:02:33,004 "No fuss about the billing, it's teamwork!" 21 00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:40,947 "The smallest type is thrilling, it's teamwork!" 22 00:02:44,755 --> 00:02:48,452 "Although we hold each other in low esteem" 23 00:02:48,525 --> 00:02:50,686 "We're loaded with teamwork" 24 00:02:50,827 --> 00:02:52,954 "What's life without teamwork?" 25 00:02:53,063 --> 00:02:57,228 "Unless you've got teamwork, there's no team!" 26 00:04:45,554 --> 00:04:47,818 This is Hong Kong. 27 00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:52,283 A sprawling dragon nestled on the soft underbelly of China. 28 00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:55,563 The flapping sails of its ancient junks... 29 00:04:55,632 --> 00:04:58,692 form a glittering gateway to the Orient. 30 00:04:59,369 --> 00:05:00,893 Yes, Hong Kong. 31 00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:04,133 Where a teeming population crowd its narrow streets... 32 00:05:04,207 --> 00:05:07,507 while its people enjoy the simple pleasures of life. 33 00:05:08,345 --> 00:05:09,573 Smoking. 34 00:05:09,914 --> 00:05:10,972 Eating. 35 00:05:11,215 --> 00:05:12,341 Laughing. 36 00:05:12,583 --> 00:05:14,016 Scratching. 37 00:05:14,985 --> 00:05:16,647 Sports-car racing. 38 00:05:18,023 --> 00:05:22,392 Yet beneath this placid facade, Hong Kong wears another face. 39 00:05:22,694 --> 00:05:26,961 The inscrutable, sinister face of mystery and intrigue. 40 00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:29,893 This typically congested oriental street... 41 00:05:29,969 --> 00:05:33,405 conceals American secret-intelligence headquarters... 42 00:05:33,473 --> 00:05:35,965 where a top security agent was summoned to hear... 43 00:05:36,043 --> 00:05:37,908 some desperate information. 44 00:05:37,978 --> 00:05:41,038 Information which indicated that the destiny of the world... 45 00:05:41,114 --> 00:05:43,480 dangled by the merest thread. 46 00:05:43,750 --> 00:05:45,183 I got over as fast as could. 47 00:05:45,252 --> 00:05:46,948 Okay, let's hear about it. 48 00:05:47,021 --> 00:05:49,114 - You sure you haven't made a mistake? - No, sir. 49 00:05:49,190 --> 00:05:52,648 You're sure the Russians have sent a man around the moon in a spaceship? 50 00:05:52,794 --> 00:05:53,852 Not one man, sir, two. 51 00:05:53,928 --> 00:05:54,952 - Two? - Yes, sir. 52 00:05:55,029 --> 00:05:56,793 And you say they sound like Americans? 53 00:05:56,866 --> 00:05:58,629 Just listen to this. 54 00:05:59,635 --> 00:06:01,000 Harry, is this fantastic? 55 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,298 It's the only way to travel. 56 00:06:02,371 --> 00:06:03,395 What's our speed? 57 00:06:03,472 --> 00:06:06,374 About 23,000 miles an hour, and we're parked. 58 00:06:08,011 --> 00:06:11,469 Now, why would they want their astronauts to sound American? 59 00:06:11,548 --> 00:06:13,345 Russian humor, I suppose. 60 00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:15,612 Just another way of rubbing our noses in it. 61 00:06:15,686 --> 00:06:17,620 Then why haven't they announced it? 62 00:06:17,688 --> 00:06:20,088 It's obvious, they haven't recovered their men yet. 63 00:06:20,157 --> 00:06:21,624 And their path of descent? 64 00:06:21,692 --> 00:06:24,525 Somewhere in the neighborhood of Hong Kong. 65 00:06:25,429 --> 00:06:26,488 Yes? 66 00:06:27,266 --> 00:06:29,666 Yes. Bring her in. 67 00:06:30,602 --> 00:06:32,433 Young lady outside, somewhat hysterical. 68 00:06:32,504 --> 00:06:35,200 Claims to know something about all this. 69 00:06:36,175 --> 00:06:38,075 Take your hands off me. 70 00:06:38,144 --> 00:06:40,578 Look, you've simply got to help me! 71 00:06:40,647 --> 00:06:43,172 Those men you're looking for are in terrible trouble. 72 00:06:43,249 --> 00:06:47,050 If you don't do something about it, they'll be dead within the hour. 73 00:06:47,121 --> 00:06:49,487 The two Russians? 74 00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:51,922 They're not Russians. They're Americans. 75 00:06:51,992 --> 00:06:54,426 - And you know them? - Of course I know them! 76 00:06:54,495 --> 00:06:57,465 - Who are they? - Harry Turner and Chester Babcock. 77 00:06:58,266 --> 00:07:00,029 Turner and Babcock? 78 00:07:00,468 --> 00:07:01,833 Say, don't we know those names? 79 00:07:01,903 --> 00:07:03,393 A couple of ex-vaudevillians, sir. 80 00:07:03,471 --> 00:07:06,999 They're wanted for fraud by practically every country in the Far East. 81 00:07:07,143 --> 00:07:11,273 And you mean to tell me these are the men the Russians have sent round the moon? 82 00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:13,008 They were not sent by the Russians. 83 00:07:13,082 --> 00:07:15,915 - Certainly you're not suggesting... - Nor the Americans. 84 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:19,087 - Then who sent them? - The Third Echelon. 85 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:22,523 - The Third what? - A third force. 86 00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:26,095 More desperate, more knowledgeable, and infinitely more dangerous... 87 00:07:26,164 --> 00:07:28,257 then either the Russians or the Americans. 88 00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,563 How do you know of this force? 89 00:07:31,169 --> 00:07:34,002 Because until yesterday, I was a part of it. 90 00:07:34,939 --> 00:07:36,805 Look, you expect me to believe... 91 00:07:36,875 --> 00:07:39,366 that these phonies could be made into astronauts... 92 00:07:39,445 --> 00:07:41,936 then sent round the moon by some mysterious force... 93 00:07:42,014 --> 00:07:44,244 more powerful than either us or the Russians? 94 00:07:44,316 --> 00:07:47,286 Sir, I know it's incredible, but you must believe me. 95 00:07:47,354 --> 00:07:49,117 Now, please listen to me. 96 00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:53,182 It all started in Calcutta about 10 days ago. 97 00:07:53,793 --> 00:07:57,491 Turner and Babcock were involved in the latest of their frauds. 98 00:07:57,565 --> 00:08:00,033 As usual it was involved with space. 99 00:08:00,468 --> 00:08:01,594 Hurry. 100 00:08:01,669 --> 00:08:05,161 Buy your tickets on the outside. Get your stock on the inside. 101 00:08:05,373 --> 00:08:09,003 See the thrilling demonstration of the one, the only... 102 00:08:09,077 --> 00:08:12,774 the original, intercontinental, interspatial, interplanetary... 103 00:08:12,848 --> 00:08:14,509 Fly-it-Yourself kit. 104 00:08:14,583 --> 00:08:16,984 Be the first man on your block into outer space. 105 00:08:17,053 --> 00:08:19,851 Fly to the moon. Stake a claim. Now, hurry. 106 00:08:19,922 --> 00:08:22,857 What is it, boy? Oh, yeah? 107 00:08:23,893 --> 00:08:25,861 Oh, well, get your tickets! 108 00:08:25,928 --> 00:08:29,262 The demonstration starts immediately. Now, hurry! 109 00:08:33,604 --> 00:08:35,231 Hey, this thing's going to work fine. 110 00:08:35,305 --> 00:08:37,638 How about that brave native we hired to fly it? 111 00:08:37,709 --> 00:08:40,041 - We've got a great crowd out there, Chester. - Yeah? 112 00:08:40,111 --> 00:08:43,842 This is the biggest thing we've ever pulled. Let's try on the helmet. 113 00:08:43,915 --> 00:08:46,611 - There we are! - That fits nice, doesn't it? 114 00:08:46,952 --> 00:08:49,819 Look at that. Let's try the jacket. Look at that material! 115 00:08:49,889 --> 00:08:51,049 Give me that good right arm. 116 00:08:51,123 --> 00:08:53,455 Is that native gonna love that? He's gonna... 117 00:08:53,893 --> 00:08:55,758 Here we go, now. 118 00:08:55,828 --> 00:08:57,319 Well, wait. What are you doing? 119 00:08:57,397 --> 00:08:58,796 We're gonna try on the pants. 120 00:08:58,865 --> 00:08:59,957 What about the native? 121 00:09:00,033 --> 00:09:02,627 You don't want to keep 400 paid-up stockholders waiting. 122 00:09:02,703 --> 00:09:05,866 - Waiting for what? - The maiden flight of Fly-it-Yourself. 123 00:09:06,006 --> 00:09:08,271 And who's going to fly the maiden flight? 124 00:09:08,342 --> 00:09:09,502 - You are. - I am? 125 00:09:09,577 --> 00:09:11,943 The brave native flew. You're all we've got left. 126 00:09:12,013 --> 00:09:14,481 I'm all I've got left, and I won't spread it around. 127 00:09:14,549 --> 00:09:15,948 A flash about Fly-it-Yourself. 128 00:09:16,017 --> 00:09:17,349 - What? - Fly it yourself. 129 00:09:17,419 --> 00:09:18,681 Now, Ches boy... 130 00:09:18,754 --> 00:09:20,915 "Ches boy!" All of a sudden, I'm "Ches boy." 131 00:09:20,989 --> 00:09:23,480 Every time you want me to risk my life, I'm "Ches boy." 132 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:25,652 - Don't blow a gasket. - Let me say one thing. 133 00:09:25,728 --> 00:09:27,560 - You know I hated to ask you. - "Ches boy!" 134 00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:31,259 - I didn't want to ask you. - I can see the tears forming in your wallet. 135 00:09:31,334 --> 00:09:34,599 Only one thing keeps me from going up and flying that thing myself. 136 00:09:34,671 --> 00:09:36,536 - I know. You're chicken. - No, Ches... 137 00:09:36,606 --> 00:09:39,303 Let me say one thing. I'm as chicken as you. Chickener. 138 00:09:39,376 --> 00:09:41,003 Chester, the clothes won't fit me. 139 00:09:41,078 --> 00:09:42,670 Okay, we'll make a few alterations. 140 00:09:42,747 --> 00:09:43,839 What're you doing? 141 00:09:43,914 --> 00:09:45,882 There. We'll have your head reblocked... 142 00:09:45,950 --> 00:09:47,976 pump you up a little bit and you're ready. 143 00:09:48,053 --> 00:09:50,214 And I'll cheer. I'll be on the ground. 144 00:09:50,288 --> 00:09:52,552 You know that I want to go, but I can't. 145 00:09:52,624 --> 00:09:55,092 - Why not? - I've got to be on the ground. 146 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,422 - What for? - For the landing. 147 00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:58,896 For the public relations and the press and magazines. 148 00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:01,559 And the splints and the plasma. No, not me. 149 00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,761 Get another pigeon. Not me, boy. No, sir. 150 00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:05,997 All right, if that's the way you feel about it. 151 00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,007 That's the way I feel about it. 152 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:12,671 All those 400 paid-up stockholders, all that loot. Gonna blow it. 153 00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,577 Blow it? Why don't we take a powder? 154 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,013 Gaze. 155 00:10:17,952 --> 00:10:20,546 They're here to see the people get their money's worth... 156 00:10:20,622 --> 00:10:22,317 or their money back. 157 00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:25,223 If only I could get my hands on that brave native... 158 00:10:25,293 --> 00:10:26,487 I'd go with him. 159 00:10:26,561 --> 00:10:29,929 Chester, I give you my solemn word. This time it's not dangerous. 160 00:10:29,999 --> 00:10:33,093 Not dangerous? You said that when you shot me out of a cannon. 161 00:10:33,169 --> 00:10:35,262 When you dropped me in a tank with an octopus. 162 00:10:35,337 --> 00:10:38,171 When you had me wrestle a gorilla. "It's not dangerous." 163 00:10:38,241 --> 00:10:42,974 I'm not going. I'm through. I've had it. So forget it, Charlie! 164 00:10:47,885 --> 00:10:49,512 Now what are you worrying about? 165 00:10:49,587 --> 00:10:51,521 I don't like the location of the propeller. 166 00:10:51,589 --> 00:10:52,589 Why not? 167 00:10:52,657 --> 00:10:54,852 I don't like things going on behind my back. 168 00:10:54,926 --> 00:10:57,292 You're going to soar, soar just like a bird. 169 00:10:57,361 --> 00:10:59,796 I hope I drop an egg, on guess who. 170 00:10:59,932 --> 00:11:02,332 Why do I always have to do the dangerous stuff? 171 00:11:02,401 --> 00:11:04,596 Just the nature of our relationship, dear boy. 172 00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:08,300 One of us has the brains, one of us has the brawn. 173 00:11:08,374 --> 00:11:10,274 Just like one's firm... 174 00:11:10,476 --> 00:11:11,568 the other's flab. 175 00:11:11,644 --> 00:11:14,511 You got a program? So far I don't recognize anyone. 176 00:11:14,881 --> 00:11:16,781 Don't get sore at me. 177 00:11:16,916 --> 00:11:17,941 It's a plot point. 178 00:11:18,018 --> 00:11:20,384 Besides, this whole deal's going to be a cinch. 179 00:11:20,454 --> 00:11:23,150 Everything's a cinch, and I wind up on crutches. 180 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,556 Don't I always get you the best medical attention? 181 00:11:25,626 --> 00:11:28,391 Yeah, like that doctor you got me in Bombay last month. 182 00:11:28,463 --> 00:11:30,829 How was I going to know he was an elephant doctor? 183 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,459 You should have known by the size of his thermometer. 184 00:11:34,169 --> 00:11:35,602 Yes, it was a bit large. 185 00:11:35,670 --> 00:11:37,638 When he shook it, I was still on it. 186 00:11:37,806 --> 00:11:40,002 I think he used to be a pole-vaulter. 187 00:11:40,076 --> 00:11:42,044 You don't have to tell me that. 188 00:11:42,478 --> 00:11:44,002 Well, here we go. 189 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:47,208 Wait. How high am I going to go? 190 00:11:47,483 --> 00:11:49,543 - Only 200 feet. - 200 feet! 191 00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:51,520 Yes, you'll make history like Lindbergh! 192 00:11:51,588 --> 00:11:53,818 Lindbergh had a plane, not a malted-milk machine! 193 00:11:53,891 --> 00:11:56,359 Don't worry, everything will be fine. Let's go, boys! 194 00:11:56,426 --> 00:11:58,793 Here we go. Pull it back. 195 00:11:59,197 --> 00:12:02,030 Hey! Wait a minute. I don't like this. 196 00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,068 Get out of there. Contact! 197 00:12:06,471 --> 00:12:07,495 Let's point him. 198 00:12:07,572 --> 00:12:10,201 Is there an insurance machine around here? 199 00:12:10,276 --> 00:12:12,437 Stop worrying. Everything's all right. 200 00:12:12,511 --> 00:12:13,842 Happy landings, Buster. 201 00:12:13,913 --> 00:12:16,882 I don't know what you're so happy about. You're not in my will. 202 00:12:16,949 --> 00:12:19,441 Release the feet, let him go. 203 00:12:20,053 --> 00:12:21,714 Geronimo! 204 00:12:46,748 --> 00:12:47,908 Hello. 205 00:12:48,283 --> 00:12:49,683 What's that? 206 00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:51,682 Chester. 207 00:12:52,088 --> 00:12:53,521 Who are you? 208 00:12:53,723 --> 00:12:54,781 Who am I? 209 00:12:54,891 --> 00:12:56,324 Yes. You seem like... 210 00:12:56,392 --> 00:12:57,757 a nice, pleasant fellow. 211 00:12:57,827 --> 00:13:00,626 Friendly, saggy, and a little overdressed. 212 00:13:00,831 --> 00:13:03,823 Chester, I'm your partner, Harry Turner. 213 00:13:04,101 --> 00:13:06,626 - Harry? - Yeah. Harry Turner. Your pal. 214 00:13:06,770 --> 00:13:07,862 Pal? 215 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,974 Chester, for 20 years, we've been bosom friends. 216 00:13:11,042 --> 00:13:12,236 Bosom? 217 00:13:12,444 --> 00:13:13,843 What's that? 218 00:13:14,145 --> 00:13:16,340 You have lost your memory, haven't you? 219 00:13:16,514 --> 00:13:19,006 Come on, Chester, try and remember. Try real hard. 220 00:13:19,085 --> 00:13:20,552 Who am I, now? 221 00:13:20,686 --> 00:13:23,587 You look friendly and fatherly. 222 00:13:23,789 --> 00:13:24,881 Are you my father? 223 00:13:24,957 --> 00:13:27,323 - No, I'm not your father. - You're not my father. 224 00:13:27,393 --> 00:13:29,123 Could you possibly be my mother? 225 00:13:29,196 --> 00:13:30,925 We're not even sure you had one. 226 00:13:31,064 --> 00:13:34,500 Got to get something to jolt your memory. Here. 227 00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,266 Who's that? 228 00:13:37,237 --> 00:13:39,934 I don't know, but give me a stick and I'll kill it! 229 00:13:41,209 --> 00:13:43,200 Think carefully. Who does that look like? 230 00:13:43,277 --> 00:13:46,303 I don't know. A nice, handsome fellow. Dashing, devil-may-care. 231 00:13:46,381 --> 00:13:48,246 Irresistible to women. 232 00:13:48,649 --> 00:13:50,117 And you've never heard of "bosom"? 233 00:13:50,185 --> 00:13:51,345 Never. 234 00:13:51,754 --> 00:13:54,279 Boy! We've got a lot of work to do. 235 00:13:55,424 --> 00:13:56,823 Never mind! 236 00:13:57,226 --> 00:14:00,958 So Harry Turner desperately tried to regain his friend's memory. 237 00:14:01,031 --> 00:14:05,195 He took him to the most highly respected neurologist in India. 238 00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:18,008 What is it, Doctor? 239 00:14:19,183 --> 00:14:20,845 Terrible heartburn. 240 00:14:20,919 --> 00:14:24,355 Put too much curry in my cornflakes, you understand. One moment please. 241 00:14:24,423 --> 00:14:27,051 Don't mind if I smarten myself up in front of you. Now. 242 00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:28,285 Comes the examination. 243 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,693 Please, taking that down a minute. Now. One second. 244 00:14:30,763 --> 00:14:32,128 Looking in here. 245 00:14:32,265 --> 00:14:34,233 My goodness gracious me! 246 00:14:34,934 --> 00:14:36,925 Would you look in the other ear, please? 247 00:14:37,236 --> 00:14:38,236 Well? 248 00:14:38,304 --> 00:14:39,795 I can see you. 249 00:14:39,873 --> 00:14:41,238 That's strange, I can see you. 250 00:14:41,308 --> 00:14:43,071 That's since I put in air-conditioning. 251 00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:45,805 - What do I look like? - You look like you need a doctor. 252 00:14:45,879 --> 00:14:48,370 I don't know where I could find a doctor at this time. 253 00:14:48,449 --> 00:14:50,611 Will you please get on with the examination? 254 00:14:50,685 --> 00:14:51,947 No. Tell you what I'll do. 255 00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:54,113 - What? - I will get on with my examination. 256 00:14:54,189 --> 00:14:58,751 The most important point at this stage of the proceedings is the matter of the fee. 257 00:14:58,827 --> 00:15:00,625 Since you are fine American gentlemen... 258 00:15:00,696 --> 00:15:04,063 I am offering you my special European fee of 1,200 rupees. 259 00:15:04,133 --> 00:15:05,327 1,200 rupees? 260 00:15:05,401 --> 00:15:07,892 Right. Open your mouth and say... 261 00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:14,103 You are suffering from a severe attack of teeth and two cavities. 262 00:15:14,311 --> 00:15:16,472 I will fill them for you for 600 rupees. 263 00:15:16,546 --> 00:15:18,980 - Are you a doctor or a dentist? - What do you need? 264 00:15:19,049 --> 00:15:21,678 - I need to get my memory back. - Just one moment, please. 265 00:15:21,752 --> 00:15:24,516 Could you use some French postcards? 266 00:15:24,622 --> 00:15:26,146 - No. - Pity. 267 00:15:26,224 --> 00:15:28,021 Slightly used Havana cigar? 268 00:15:28,092 --> 00:15:29,582 No. 269 00:15:30,028 --> 00:15:32,758 Underwater inflatable bust of Yogi Berra? 270 00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:33,922 No. 271 00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:35,557 Pity. It's going for a song. 272 00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:40,302 Thank you very much for the... 273 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:44,110 - And I'm the patient? - That's what I thought. 274 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,611 Come on. We want to get this fellow's memory back. 275 00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,146 Will you get on with the therapy? 276 00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:49,909 No, but I'll tell you what I do. 277 00:15:49,984 --> 00:15:51,645 - What? - I'll get on with the therapy. 278 00:15:51,719 --> 00:15:55,678 First of all, we have the special all-lndia close-up eye-test reading chart. 279 00:15:55,756 --> 00:15:58,190 Read from the fourth line down. Thank you very much. 280 00:15:58,259 --> 00:16:01,388 "I owe you 1,300 rupees." 281 00:16:01,463 --> 00:16:03,590 1,300? A minute ago it was 1,200. 282 00:16:03,665 --> 00:16:06,156 You should have jumped at it when you had the chance. 283 00:16:06,234 --> 00:16:08,259 Doctor, there's nothing wrong with my eyes. 284 00:16:08,336 --> 00:16:11,329 No, as a matter of fact, you've got very beautiful eyes. 285 00:16:11,407 --> 00:16:14,308 Never mind. I'll tell you what I will do. 286 00:16:14,810 --> 00:16:17,506 I will start the special long-distance eye test now. 287 00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:19,775 Where's the sausages in here? 288 00:16:25,756 --> 00:16:27,656 I'm so sorry. It's my mother. 289 00:16:27,858 --> 00:16:29,485 Sorry. 290 00:16:30,395 --> 00:16:31,828 Now then. Here. 291 00:16:31,896 --> 00:16:33,261 I'm giving you the eye test... 292 00:16:33,331 --> 00:16:36,789 constructed for American gentlemen visiting our country. Now then. 293 00:16:36,868 --> 00:16:39,530 One, two, three, fourth line down. Read it, please. 294 00:16:39,704 --> 00:16:42,697 - But that's lndian. I can't read lndian. - I'll read it for you. 295 00:16:42,775 --> 00:16:46,302 No, better still, I'll play it for you. Wait a minute. 296 00:16:49,715 --> 00:16:51,115 Just a second. 297 00:16:51,318 --> 00:16:54,014 Damn old flies. They get everywhere, you know? 298 00:17:11,673 --> 00:17:13,072 Hey, Doc! 299 00:17:13,141 --> 00:17:16,372 - What? Don't worry about that. - Don't worry? What if he bites me? 300 00:17:16,445 --> 00:17:18,970 Nothing to worry about. If he should give you a nip... 301 00:17:19,047 --> 00:17:22,449 all you do is get hold of your bowie knife, make a cut on here... 302 00:17:22,518 --> 00:17:24,986 suck out the poison and spit it away. Very simple. 303 00:17:25,054 --> 00:17:27,784 But what if he bites me in a place where I can't reach? 304 00:17:28,091 --> 00:17:30,856 That is when you find out who your real friends are. 305 00:17:31,428 --> 00:17:32,428 Let's get out of here. 306 00:17:32,496 --> 00:17:34,555 No, seriously, please, listen to me. 307 00:17:34,632 --> 00:17:37,465 If you want to get your memory back, there's one place to go. 308 00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:38,933 In the mountains of Tibet. 309 00:17:39,003 --> 00:17:40,972 A lamasery, wonderful place. 310 00:17:41,039 --> 00:17:43,405 Instantly give you a secret herb, back comes memory. 311 00:17:43,475 --> 00:17:45,875 - You're sure of this? - Dear fellow, absolutely sure. 312 00:17:45,944 --> 00:17:49,175 Once I had a terrible attack of the can't-remember-nothing... 313 00:17:49,247 --> 00:17:52,513 my name, who I was, what I was doing, where I am, what's going on. 314 00:17:52,585 --> 00:17:56,077 Then I took the secret herb. Instantly, back came everything. Wonderful. 315 00:17:56,155 --> 00:17:57,679 Where is this place? 316 00:17:57,957 --> 00:17:59,481 I'm sorry, I can't remember. 317 00:17:59,558 --> 00:18:02,221 - Let's get out of here. - Don't worry. 318 00:18:04,531 --> 00:18:07,056 All right, Sam, let's have some jazz, man. 319 00:18:09,102 --> 00:18:12,129 The boys consulted another doctor and discovered... 320 00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:16,108 there really was such a lamasery, where memory could be restored. 321 00:18:16,177 --> 00:18:17,974 En route to the lamasery... 322 00:18:18,046 --> 00:18:21,710 the boys booked passage on a plane that departed from Calcutta. 323 00:18:21,784 --> 00:18:25,049 It was in that airport that my path was destined to cross... 324 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:27,145 that of Babcock and Turner. 325 00:18:27,222 --> 00:18:30,282 I had been sent there to contact one of our secret agents. 326 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,329 He was returning from Moscow, where he had just stolen... 327 00:18:33,396 --> 00:18:36,297 the top-secret formula for the Russian rocket fuel... 328 00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:37,731 when... 329 00:18:37,967 --> 00:18:41,198 I am being followed, so listen carefully. I can only say this once. 330 00:18:41,339 --> 00:18:43,671 Here is the formula. You will microfilm it... 331 00:18:43,741 --> 00:18:46,266 destroy these papers and send the film to Hong Kong. 332 00:18:46,344 --> 00:18:47,368 Very well. 333 00:18:47,445 --> 00:18:49,310 - Have you made all the arrangements? - Yes. 334 00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:51,849 - Who's the photographer? - That's no concern of yours. 335 00:18:51,917 --> 00:18:55,375 You'll identify him by three concentric circles on his camera bag. 336 00:18:55,454 --> 00:18:56,614 Three concentric circles? 337 00:18:56,688 --> 00:18:58,849 He will contact you right here in the airport. 338 00:18:58,924 --> 00:19:01,290 - You mustn't fail. - Don't worry. 339 00:19:12,506 --> 00:19:14,235 I hope that doctor's right. 340 00:19:14,308 --> 00:19:16,868 - You sure I'll get my memory back? - That's what he said. 341 00:19:16,944 --> 00:19:18,571 What if I only get part of it back? 342 00:19:18,645 --> 00:19:21,638 All I want you to get back is the part where you left our money. 343 00:19:21,716 --> 00:19:24,446 What about women? What if I don't remember them? 344 00:19:24,519 --> 00:19:27,352 We'll send you to school. Learning can be fun. 345 00:19:27,422 --> 00:19:28,616 - No! - Yes. 346 00:19:29,157 --> 00:19:31,125 Suppose I should meet someone right now. 347 00:19:31,192 --> 00:19:33,388 What did I do? How did I used to get started? 348 00:19:33,462 --> 00:19:36,795 You were electric. You overwhelmed them with your personality. 349 00:19:36,866 --> 00:19:38,891 - You used to give them the suave smile. - Yeah? 350 00:19:38,968 --> 00:19:40,265 - The raised eyebrow. - No. 351 00:19:40,336 --> 00:19:42,805 - The knowing wink. - Yeah, and then? 352 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:45,703 No, you're not ready for "and then" yet. 353 00:19:45,776 --> 00:19:47,767 - And that's all there was to it? - That's all. 354 00:19:47,844 --> 00:19:49,539 Just the suave smile? 355 00:19:50,247 --> 00:19:51,977 - The raised eyebrow? - Yes. 356 00:19:52,049 --> 00:19:53,676 - The knowing wink? - That's it. 357 00:19:54,519 --> 00:19:55,918 Steady! 358 00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:58,319 You almost sold me there, you rascal you. 359 00:19:58,389 --> 00:19:59,447 I'm hooked! 360 00:19:59,524 --> 00:20:01,424 Steady, don't waste none of that. 361 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,154 - I can't get out of it. - No. Come on. 362 00:20:03,228 --> 00:20:06,061 Listen, I'll check on the tickets, and you get the bags. 363 00:20:06,265 --> 00:20:07,732 - Bags? - Yeah, the luggage. 364 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,564 That stuff there. Come on. Look alive! 365 00:20:29,056 --> 00:20:31,422 Let's see. There was a suave smile. 366 00:20:34,062 --> 00:20:35,859 The knowing wink. 367 00:20:39,634 --> 00:20:40,931 And then... 368 00:20:44,540 --> 00:20:47,031 I've got a feeling the "and then" is the best part. 369 00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:49,675 I hope I'm ready for it. 370 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,042 Do you think we're being watched? 371 00:20:53,116 --> 00:20:54,276 Definitely. 372 00:20:54,351 --> 00:20:56,012 Then we'll have to hurry. 373 00:20:56,153 --> 00:20:58,587 - Have we got time? - If you work fast. 374 00:20:58,655 --> 00:21:00,486 - I'll do my best. - Good. 375 00:21:00,557 --> 00:21:03,026 - I've got the room ready at the hotel. - Good. 376 00:21:03,094 --> 00:21:05,528 - I've made all the arrangements. - Fine. 377 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:07,827 - The shades are all drawn. - Very sensible. 378 00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:10,060 And we can lock the door from the inside. 379 00:21:10,134 --> 00:21:13,593 Good. I'd hate to get a crowd until I get the hang of it. 380 00:21:14,540 --> 00:21:16,064 So much depends on you. 381 00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:18,609 Are you sure you've done this sort of thing before? 382 00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:20,201 I must have. 383 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,279 When do we start? 384 00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:24,544 Right now! 385 00:21:25,519 --> 00:21:29,011 Darling, it's so wonderful to see you again! 386 00:21:32,793 --> 00:21:34,920 - You've got it! - I know it. 387 00:21:35,796 --> 00:21:37,457 - Don't lose it! - Don't worry. 388 00:21:37,532 --> 00:21:40,057 - See you at the hotel. - Pull the shades, lock the door. 389 00:21:40,134 --> 00:21:41,658 - One final thing. - Yes? 390 00:21:41,736 --> 00:21:43,602 In case I'm late, go ahead without me. 391 00:21:43,672 --> 00:21:45,401 Fine, I'll do that. 392 00:21:51,847 --> 00:21:54,646 - What was that about? - I think I'm ready for the "and then." 393 00:21:54,717 --> 00:21:58,118 You've passed "and then." You're all the way up to "How about that?" 394 00:21:58,187 --> 00:22:01,714 I got a date at the hotel with the shades drawn and the doors locked. 395 00:22:01,791 --> 00:22:02,850 I can't believe this. 396 00:22:02,927 --> 00:22:05,327 She said if she was late, I should start without her. 397 00:22:05,396 --> 00:22:06,556 Now I believe it. 398 00:22:06,630 --> 00:22:07,858 Come on. 399 00:22:09,867 --> 00:22:12,427 - What are you doing with that? - You told me it was ours. 400 00:22:12,503 --> 00:22:16,338 Not that one. We'd better put it back. Come on, we'll be late for the plane. 401 00:22:19,878 --> 00:22:22,972 We may not need the plane. I think I'm getting it back. 402 00:22:31,857 --> 00:22:33,758 We need the plane. 403 00:22:36,863 --> 00:22:39,593 Babcock and Turner's plane had already taken off... 404 00:22:39,666 --> 00:22:41,759 when I discovered my mistake. 405 00:22:41,835 --> 00:22:45,067 I also learned that the two men had booked round-trip tickets... 406 00:22:45,139 --> 00:22:47,004 and would be back within a week. 407 00:22:47,108 --> 00:22:49,702 There was nothing I could do but wait. 408 00:22:50,011 --> 00:22:52,104 I would have been more anxious if I'd known... 409 00:22:52,180 --> 00:22:54,843 they were heading for the desolate Kulrabi Mountains... 410 00:22:55,117 --> 00:22:58,644 and the distant fabled lamasery at Jaipuri. 411 00:23:03,526 --> 00:23:05,585 Well, it's clearing up, isn't it? 412 00:23:05,662 --> 00:23:08,495 Say, Grandpa, we're told you could help us. 413 00:23:08,565 --> 00:23:10,192 My friend here has lost his memory. 414 00:23:10,266 --> 00:23:11,392 I don't remember anything. 415 00:23:11,468 --> 00:23:13,869 I don't remember what money is, what I did with it... 416 00:23:13,938 --> 00:23:15,906 what girls are and what I did with them. 417 00:23:15,973 --> 00:23:19,966 In life, my brother, money and girls are not important. 418 00:23:21,112 --> 00:23:24,014 - This guy needs a few weeks in Las Vegas. - Let me talk to him. 419 00:23:24,082 --> 00:23:26,414 Look, we'd like to negotiate a deal. 420 00:23:26,485 --> 00:23:29,249 - Who's in charge of mental health? - Mental health? 421 00:23:29,321 --> 00:23:32,654 Who's the boss, the number-one fellow? Who pays the tab on the pad? 422 00:23:32,724 --> 00:23:34,317 Who signs the scrolls? 423 00:23:34,394 --> 00:23:35,759 The Grand Lama. 424 00:23:36,396 --> 00:23:37,522 Grand Lama. 425 00:23:37,597 --> 00:23:38,757 He's the pro here? 426 00:23:38,831 --> 00:23:40,025 Jack Lama, I think it is. 427 00:23:40,099 --> 00:23:41,930 We'd like to make an appointment. 428 00:23:42,001 --> 00:23:45,563 Very well. Follow me. I will prepare you. 429 00:23:45,673 --> 00:23:47,140 Bring your niblick. 430 00:23:47,307 --> 00:23:49,332 Maybe the house detective. 431 00:23:49,743 --> 00:23:52,678 Please, my sons, do not despair. 432 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:57,580 Help is never denied those whose destiny crosses our threshold. 433 00:23:57,886 --> 00:24:00,912 - Come, and we shall see what we can do. - He may be the man. 434 00:24:00,989 --> 00:24:03,321 You don't win a hat like that playing mumblety-pegs. 435 00:24:03,391 --> 00:24:04,416 No. 436 00:24:06,395 --> 00:24:11,389 We are administering an ancient and obscure herb known as Piutus Memoryorus. 437 00:24:12,001 --> 00:24:16,803 In many cases, it has been known to effect an almost instantaneous recovery. 438 00:24:27,719 --> 00:24:28,811 Yes. 439 00:24:29,020 --> 00:24:31,682 - Yes, my son? - It's coming back. 440 00:24:31,756 --> 00:24:33,223 I think I'm beginning to remember. 441 00:24:33,291 --> 00:24:36,227 Great! Now. What's my name? 442 00:24:36,762 --> 00:24:38,821 - Name? - Yeah. My name. 443 00:24:38,897 --> 00:24:41,457 Har-ry Tru-Tru-Truman. 444 00:24:41,533 --> 00:24:43,398 No. 445 00:24:43,502 --> 00:24:45,027 Har-ry... 446 00:24:45,105 --> 00:24:46,538 - Concentrate! - Harry Concentrate! 447 00:24:46,606 --> 00:24:47,800 No! 448 00:24:47,874 --> 00:24:49,136 Har-ry... 449 00:24:49,776 --> 00:24:52,210 - Tur-ner! - Right! You've got it. 450 00:24:52,278 --> 00:24:55,271 - Harry Turner! - What's your name? 451 00:24:55,349 --> 00:24:59,285 - Chester Babcock? - Right. 452 00:24:59,353 --> 00:25:00,945 Chester Babcock. 453 00:25:01,021 --> 00:25:03,854 - A name like that I remember. - I think he's getting it back. 454 00:25:03,924 --> 00:25:05,950 - Now tell me, how much is two and two? - Four. 455 00:25:06,027 --> 00:25:07,051 - Four and four? - Eight. 456 00:25:07,129 --> 00:25:08,596 - Eight and eight? - Seventeen. 457 00:25:08,663 --> 00:25:11,097 That's our boy again. He's with us again. 458 00:25:11,166 --> 00:25:14,534 And now, my son, having regained your memory... 459 00:25:14,604 --> 00:25:16,731 you are one of the chosen few... 460 00:25:16,806 --> 00:25:20,139 eligible to experience the ecstatic joys... 461 00:25:20,209 --> 00:25:23,144 of the Hall of Total Recollection. 462 00:25:23,579 --> 00:25:27,914 You see, those who respond to the Piutus Memoryorus... 463 00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:32,979 also respond to a still-rarer herb, the Piutus Bushkinorus. 464 00:25:33,190 --> 00:25:35,159 Piutus Bushkinorus? 465 00:25:35,260 --> 00:25:37,285 You can get that from a bad audience. 466 00:25:37,362 --> 00:25:38,420 Watch it. 467 00:25:38,496 --> 00:25:40,191 You mean these characters here are... 468 00:25:40,265 --> 00:25:42,665 remembering all that's been put in front of them? 469 00:25:42,734 --> 00:25:46,796 They are, at the moment, reading and remembering great literature. 470 00:25:46,872 --> 00:25:49,602 That one is remembering the Odyssey. 471 00:25:49,975 --> 00:25:52,170 That one, the Iliad. 472 00:25:52,545 --> 00:25:54,912 And that one, Shakespeare. 473 00:25:55,282 --> 00:25:57,716 What about that one, over there? 474 00:26:01,588 --> 00:26:03,453 What's he remembering? 475 00:26:03,857 --> 00:26:05,485 Lady Chatterley's Lover. 476 00:26:08,029 --> 00:26:11,829 Lady Chatterley's Lover. He must have the one with pictures. 477 00:26:11,999 --> 00:26:14,593 And I had to leave my library card in my other robe. 478 00:26:14,669 --> 00:26:18,629 Will this Piutus Bushkinorus work on my friend Chester here? 479 00:26:18,707 --> 00:26:21,369 Precisely. If you will come with me. 480 00:26:21,443 --> 00:26:24,708 Do you realize what a memory act we could do with some of this stuff? 481 00:26:24,780 --> 00:26:25,900 - Crazy! - Just the greatest! 482 00:26:25,949 --> 00:26:29,112 - For the first time, we'd be legitimate. - Let's not get sickening. 483 00:26:29,185 --> 00:26:33,315 Say, Mister Lama, do you suppose we could buy a couple of sticks of this stuff? 484 00:26:33,389 --> 00:26:35,085 We want to do this memory act and we... 485 00:26:35,159 --> 00:26:39,220 I'm sorry, my sons, but neither our herbs, nor those who use them... 486 00:26:39,296 --> 00:26:41,764 are ever allowed to leave the lamasery. 487 00:26:42,132 --> 00:26:44,464 You mean, we have to spend our lives in this place? 488 00:26:44,535 --> 00:26:45,560 I'm afraid so. 489 00:26:45,637 --> 00:26:47,730 We don't want you to think we're ungrateful... 490 00:26:47,806 --> 00:26:52,038 but there's nothing that could keep us in a place like this forever. 491 00:26:52,110 --> 00:26:55,274 Unless it was a couple of fabulous-looking girls! 492 00:26:57,917 --> 00:26:59,248 Hi, girls. 493 00:26:59,986 --> 00:27:01,977 I'd hate to see the boys. 494 00:27:05,859 --> 00:27:07,417 Come on, watch it. 495 00:27:07,494 --> 00:27:10,224 - Watch the threads. - Please, I just had this pressed. 496 00:27:11,331 --> 00:27:14,767 Say, you guys like American pictures? 497 00:27:14,835 --> 00:27:19,239 You seen any old road pictures like Singapore, Zanzibar, Morocco? 498 00:27:19,307 --> 00:27:22,504 You haven't? Well, watch this. 499 00:27:22,577 --> 00:27:25,741 Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man... 500 00:27:25,814 --> 00:27:28,783 bake a cake as fast as you... 501 00:27:29,618 --> 00:27:31,415 Say, it still works. 502 00:27:31,487 --> 00:27:34,320 - Get the bottle. - You get the clothes. 503 00:27:37,527 --> 00:27:40,121 Remember. No violence. 504 00:27:40,530 --> 00:27:43,294 Follow them, watch, wait. 505 00:27:43,366 --> 00:27:46,495 And when the occasion permits, regain the bottle. 506 00:27:46,570 --> 00:27:48,663 It shall be done, Master. 507 00:28:12,065 --> 00:28:14,556 There you are. Buy yourself a blue blade. 508 00:28:14,634 --> 00:28:16,227 Gentlemen, is there anything else? 509 00:28:16,303 --> 00:28:20,000 No, we're fine. Go work on your rope trick. We might use you on the road. 510 00:28:20,074 --> 00:28:21,837 Yeah, heat up your snake. 511 00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:24,571 There you are, my little orange-pekoe annuity. 512 00:28:24,645 --> 00:28:28,104 Chester, come down here. I want you to unfurl the long-and-furry. 513 00:28:28,550 --> 00:28:30,643 You're not well, are you? 514 00:28:30,719 --> 00:28:33,847 We must press on. We gotta test this stuff to make sure it works. 515 00:28:33,922 --> 00:28:36,255 - What will you test it on? - We'll find something. 516 00:28:36,325 --> 00:28:38,850 You got a racing form, a summons, anything on you? 517 00:28:38,928 --> 00:28:40,555 - Here's something. - What have you got? 518 00:28:40,629 --> 00:28:42,654 I don't know, it's got numbers and diagrams. 519 00:28:42,732 --> 00:28:43,926 Let me see. 520 00:28:44,333 --> 00:28:46,359 - Where'd you get it? - Who knows? 521 00:28:46,436 --> 00:28:48,404 Maybe it was that dame at the airport. 522 00:28:48,472 --> 00:28:50,838 The one who wanted a picture of me in a bikini. 523 00:28:50,907 --> 00:28:53,102 Dreamer. No matter. 524 00:28:53,176 --> 00:28:56,078 If you can memorize this, Chester, you can memorize anything. 525 00:28:56,147 --> 00:28:57,307 Sit down. 526 00:28:57,382 --> 00:29:01,648 Now then, Chester, flip that fang out for me, will you, one more time? 527 00:29:03,688 --> 00:29:05,588 I wished I had a book of stamps. 528 00:29:05,656 --> 00:29:07,750 You're a little nervous. This won't hurt. 529 00:29:07,826 --> 00:29:10,226 Lay it right there. There we are. 530 00:29:11,063 --> 00:29:12,928 Did it do anything for you? 531 00:29:17,704 --> 00:29:20,468 - You got it? Ready? - Got it. 532 00:29:27,948 --> 00:29:29,210 Okay. 533 00:29:29,283 --> 00:29:30,477 Page one, line six. 534 00:29:30,551 --> 00:29:33,850 "The ratio of the fuel concentration to the initial escape velocity..." 535 00:29:33,921 --> 00:29:36,652 "equals the quadrant X minus AB to the sixteenth power." 536 00:29:36,725 --> 00:29:40,354 Wonderful, Chester. All right, page two, line 17. 537 00:29:40,429 --> 00:29:43,455 "Atmospheric density compressed to the square root of 'Y' plus 5..." 538 00:29:43,532 --> 00:29:45,659 "to the power of 11 and a dirty thumb." 539 00:29:46,969 --> 00:29:49,563 What coverage! 540 00:29:50,673 --> 00:29:53,164 - My key, please. - Certainly, madam. 541 00:29:56,345 --> 00:29:59,611 "Centimeters of cubic displacement per gram of octane distillate." 542 00:29:59,683 --> 00:30:04,120 Finito! Perfecto, Chester! Come on. Let's get a little bit of fresh air. 543 00:30:04,188 --> 00:30:07,124 Coming out of it? You all right? Come on, school's out. 544 00:30:09,761 --> 00:30:12,594 - Did I get it all? - Every word, every gold-plated word. 545 00:30:12,664 --> 00:30:14,825 We're gonna be loaded, Ches boy. 546 00:30:14,899 --> 00:30:17,960 - Don't start with that "Ches boy." - We've got a fortune here. 547 00:30:18,037 --> 00:30:21,632 - In my head? - The last place anybody would look for it. 548 00:30:21,707 --> 00:30:22,969 You got a mind like a sponge. 549 00:30:23,042 --> 00:30:25,203 Don't get any ideas about squeezing it, either. 550 00:30:25,277 --> 00:30:28,873 Chester, you're a walking lBM Machine, a slope-nosed Univac. 551 00:30:28,949 --> 00:30:32,009 From now on, anytime anybody wants any secret information... 552 00:30:32,085 --> 00:30:35,111 taken from one place to another, they got to lay it up there. 553 00:30:35,188 --> 00:30:36,678 - Right up there? - That's the place. 554 00:30:36,756 --> 00:30:38,224 - I carry it around for them? - Yeah. 555 00:30:38,292 --> 00:30:41,693 If they want any information, they make a little hole and it leaks out? 556 00:30:42,196 --> 00:30:45,893 So, you're talking about spy rings and secret agents and things like that. 557 00:30:45,967 --> 00:30:47,458 They got knives, they got guns. 558 00:30:47,536 --> 00:30:50,596 They shoot you with tiny bullets that put big holes in you. 559 00:30:50,672 --> 00:30:52,071 I know, I watch television! 560 00:30:52,141 --> 00:30:54,371 - I'm going to be there with you. - For the funeral. 561 00:30:54,443 --> 00:30:55,910 Who do you think they'll shoot... 562 00:30:55,978 --> 00:30:58,607 you or the schnook with the lBM machine up his Univac. 563 00:30:58,681 --> 00:31:00,876 I'm sorry, get yourself a new schnook. 564 00:31:00,950 --> 00:31:05,444 Look, why don't you get us a nice agent and book us a nice, legitimate memory act? 565 00:31:05,522 --> 00:31:07,252 Anything wrong... 566 00:31:12,563 --> 00:31:13,962 Hello there. 567 00:31:20,305 --> 00:31:23,399 - Do you remember me? - I certainly hope so. 568 00:31:23,475 --> 00:31:24,874 The airport. 569 00:31:25,143 --> 00:31:26,633 The airport. Yeah. 570 00:31:26,711 --> 00:31:29,647 You're the girl with the hotel room. Sorry I couldn't make it. 571 00:31:29,715 --> 00:31:31,148 I hope there's still a vacancy. 572 00:31:31,217 --> 00:31:34,311 We can go to the hotel and pull the shades and... 573 00:31:34,654 --> 00:31:38,284 Now don't be a sore loser. I'll go. 574 00:31:38,592 --> 00:31:40,992 It's wonderful to be wanted. 575 00:31:41,929 --> 00:31:45,092 - I already have a scar there. - The papers, please. 576 00:31:45,165 --> 00:31:48,135 - The papers? - The ones I put in your pocket. 577 00:31:48,203 --> 00:31:50,569 - With the numbers and the diagrams? - If you please. 578 00:31:50,638 --> 00:31:52,799 We just had a little barbecue here. 579 00:31:53,141 --> 00:31:54,199 No! 580 00:31:55,210 --> 00:31:56,768 You idiots. 581 00:31:59,281 --> 00:32:03,308 Would I be correct in assuming that this information might have been valuable? 582 00:32:03,385 --> 00:32:04,750 Invaluable. 583 00:32:06,021 --> 00:32:08,456 Maybe something that somebody would pay a lot for... 584 00:32:08,525 --> 00:32:11,790 if somebody could get somebody to bring it back? 585 00:32:12,162 --> 00:32:15,131 - Don't talk nonsense! - That's right, don't talk nonsense! 586 00:32:15,198 --> 00:32:17,667 - Yes, but would they? - Don't talk nonsense. 587 00:32:17,735 --> 00:32:20,932 Are you suggesting that you have a way of replacing these papers? 588 00:32:21,005 --> 00:32:24,566 Certainly not. And I'll thank you to put that gun down now and leave. 589 00:32:24,642 --> 00:32:26,371 I don't know who you're mixed up with. 590 00:32:26,444 --> 00:32:28,936 I'll bet they're the kind to carry guns and knives... 591 00:32:29,014 --> 00:32:31,676 and put holes in people, and my friend here and l... 592 00:32:31,750 --> 00:32:34,310 will have nothing to do with it. Leave now. 593 00:32:34,386 --> 00:32:36,320 Do not bother us again. 594 00:32:36,388 --> 00:32:38,880 See you at the bar in five minutes. 595 00:32:40,226 --> 00:32:42,194 Now do you see what I mean? 596 00:32:42,262 --> 00:32:45,595 You're so right, Chester. And a dame with a gun, yet! 597 00:32:45,665 --> 00:32:46,689 And loaded. 598 00:32:46,766 --> 00:32:48,200 She certainly was! 599 00:32:48,269 --> 00:32:50,203 I told you how dangerous this stuff can be. 600 00:32:50,271 --> 00:32:51,271 You're right as rain. 601 00:32:51,338 --> 00:32:54,136 I'm going downstairs now and phone New York long distance. 602 00:32:54,208 --> 00:32:55,937 I'm going to get a booking for our act. 603 00:32:56,010 --> 00:32:57,739 That's a great... Wait a minute. 604 00:32:57,811 --> 00:32:59,302 Why don't you use this phone here? 605 00:32:59,381 --> 00:33:02,544 You know you can't make a long-distance call from a local phone. 606 00:33:02,617 --> 00:33:04,141 Yeah, that's right. 607 00:33:04,219 --> 00:33:06,483 Dames with guns. 608 00:33:09,759 --> 00:33:12,057 And he can deliver it tomorrow in Hong Kong? 609 00:33:12,728 --> 00:33:14,753 If the price is right, yeah. 610 00:33:15,698 --> 00:33:18,259 Shall we say $10,000? 611 00:33:18,535 --> 00:33:20,002 $10,000? 612 00:33:20,304 --> 00:33:22,465 All right, $20,000. 613 00:33:23,006 --> 00:33:24,564 I'm not one to haggle, but... 614 00:33:24,641 --> 00:33:27,701 Very well, then. $25,000. 615 00:33:28,379 --> 00:33:31,280 That was $25,000? 616 00:33:31,349 --> 00:33:32,680 Naturally! 617 00:33:33,484 --> 00:33:35,714 Are you sure you're not pulling my leg? 618 00:33:35,787 --> 00:33:39,019 Business first, fun and games later. 619 00:33:39,124 --> 00:33:41,718 See you upstairs in about 10 minutes. Right? 620 00:33:41,794 --> 00:33:42,954 Right. 621 00:33:49,836 --> 00:33:51,633 Are you kidding me about that booking? 622 00:33:51,705 --> 00:33:53,639 Would I kid you at a time like this? 623 00:33:53,707 --> 00:33:56,267 - This calls for a celebration. - Right! 624 00:33:56,343 --> 00:33:57,469 How much are we gonna get? 625 00:33:57,544 --> 00:33:59,604 We are gonna get... 626 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:01,671 - We are going to get... - $25... 627 00:34:01,749 --> 00:34:03,216 - $25... - $25... 628 00:34:03,284 --> 00:34:05,582 - $25? - $2,500. 629 00:34:05,653 --> 00:34:08,087 - $2,500. - Split right down the middle. 630 00:34:08,155 --> 00:34:10,784 Split right down the middle. No more of that 80-20 stuff? 631 00:34:10,859 --> 00:34:14,454 No. Share and share alike. Blood brothers. 632 00:34:14,529 --> 00:34:15,587 I'd rather have the money. 633 00:34:15,664 --> 00:34:18,600 It's only fair to tell you that we are going to have to do... 634 00:34:18,668 --> 00:34:20,966 a little audition for the Chinese theatre man. 635 00:34:21,037 --> 00:34:22,504 For that money, he's entitled! 636 00:34:22,572 --> 00:34:24,540 You're being big, but are you ready for this? 637 00:34:24,607 --> 00:34:26,541 - What? - Wait'll you hear where we'll play. 638 00:34:26,609 --> 00:34:27,974 Do it to me lightly. 639 00:34:28,044 --> 00:34:30,536 Loews Hong Kong. 640 00:34:32,282 --> 00:34:33,909 - Hong Kong! - Yes, sir. 641 00:34:33,984 --> 00:34:37,943 Dreamy old Hong Kong. Pearl of the Orient. 642 00:34:38,021 --> 00:34:39,421 Bill Holden's sandbox. 643 00:34:39,491 --> 00:34:41,356 Yeah, the almond-eyed Paris. 644 00:34:41,426 --> 00:34:43,758 With the noodles, soy sauce, and ricky rickshaws. 645 00:34:43,828 --> 00:34:47,457 - The geisha girls give green stamps. - And the slit skirts have no zippers. 646 00:34:47,532 --> 00:34:49,524 And the dawn comes up like thunder. 647 00:34:49,602 --> 00:34:52,036 - Hong Kong! - We're on our way. 648 00:34:52,772 --> 00:34:57,334 "Can't you see us in a rickshaw 649 00:34:57,410 --> 00:35:00,346 "Dropping in on Suzie Wong? 650 00:35:00,781 --> 00:35:04,217 "Can't you see the split kimono 651 00:35:04,284 --> 00:35:07,048 "On the road to Hong Kong? 652 00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:08,644 "Sip a little oolong tea 653 00:35:09,290 --> 00:35:12,453 "They'll adore us in our pigtails 654 00:35:12,527 --> 00:35:15,894 "Sitting down to play mah-jongg 655 00:35:15,963 --> 00:35:18,956 "You and me, on a spree 656 00:35:19,034 --> 00:35:21,969 "We'll be right there where we belong 657 00:35:22,037 --> 00:35:23,470 "On the road to Hong Kong 658 00:35:23,539 --> 00:35:25,734 "Sip a little oolong tea 659 00:35:26,108 --> 00:35:28,975 - "Kowloon -" Kowloon 660 00:35:29,512 --> 00:35:32,345 "We can't get there too soon" 661 00:35:32,415 --> 00:35:34,246 "Cause a gal who's cute" 662 00:35:34,317 --> 00:35:38,617 "Has the cutest lute that I'm just dying to tune" 663 00:35:38,688 --> 00:35:41,453 "Sip a little oolong tea" 664 00:35:41,959 --> 00:35:44,553 Your father's out there. How did you get here? 665 00:35:44,628 --> 00:35:46,255 Special Effects. 666 00:35:47,231 --> 00:35:50,690 "There's a crazy Chinese incense" 667 00:35:50,769 --> 00:35:53,932 "That could make a weak man strong" 668 00:35:54,005 --> 00:35:57,736 "Just a whiff is terrif" 669 00:36:03,983 --> 00:36:06,918 "Sip a little oolong tea 670 00:36:06,986 --> 00:36:10,320 - "it's grand -" Oh, it's great 671 00:36:10,390 --> 00:36:15,384 "But try to contemplate with each Chinese meal" 672 00:36:15,629 --> 00:36:17,563 "There's a Chinese deal" 673 00:36:17,631 --> 00:36:20,226 "Tells your future and fate" 674 00:36:22,303 --> 00:36:24,328 "You are under grave suspicion" 675 00:36:24,405 --> 00:36:27,203 "Your partner suspects you of dishonesty" 676 00:36:27,475 --> 00:36:29,204 Here, it's for you. 677 00:36:30,145 --> 00:36:34,639 "No more Turner, no more Babcock" 678 00:36:34,717 --> 00:36:38,050 "Harry Chan and Chester Fong" 679 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:41,113 "Let that Chinese gong" 680 00:36:42,926 --> 00:36:45,656 "Go ding ding dong" 681 00:36:46,630 --> 00:36:50,397 "We'll be on the happy road to Hong Kong" 682 00:36:50,501 --> 00:36:53,937 "Smoke a little hookah, nicotine bazooka" 683 00:36:54,005 --> 00:36:57,031 "Smoke a little hookah pipe" 684 00:37:16,162 --> 00:37:17,629 Come in. 685 00:37:22,603 --> 00:37:26,266 Chester, I want you to tell me everything that was on those secret papers. 686 00:37:26,340 --> 00:37:30,072 Start at the beginning. Page one, line one. 687 00:37:30,312 --> 00:37:33,213 "Top Secret. Solid propellant rocket-fuel formula." 688 00:37:33,281 --> 00:37:35,511 "The basic element necessary in maximum thrust..." 689 00:37:35,584 --> 00:37:38,951 "is equal to 679.03 degrees of escape velocity." 690 00:37:39,821 --> 00:37:41,551 Page five, line three. 691 00:37:41,624 --> 00:37:44,559 "The quadrant XY over 2 AB as applied to the equation 'L'..." 692 00:37:47,563 --> 00:37:50,260 There she lies, Chester! Hong Kong! 693 00:37:50,334 --> 00:37:52,393 What a monument to fried rice! 694 00:37:52,469 --> 00:37:55,438 Look at those bamboo television antennas, will you? 695 00:37:55,505 --> 00:37:57,996 - You got the stuff? - Yes, got it right here. 696 00:37:58,075 --> 00:38:00,806 I'll take it. I'm still the treasurer, you know. 697 00:38:00,878 --> 00:38:04,541 With that 80-20 mind of yours, I want to keep an overlapping grip on my 20. 698 00:38:04,616 --> 00:38:07,141 Chester, when are you going to learn to trust me? 699 00:38:07,218 --> 00:38:09,743 When I can afford a full-time thief. 700 00:38:29,175 --> 00:38:31,644 Hey, wait a minute! What are you doing with my bottle? 701 00:38:31,712 --> 00:38:34,203 - Beg pardon, sir, is my bottle. - That's my bottle! 702 00:38:34,281 --> 00:38:36,374 No, sir. Is very common oriental bottle. 703 00:38:36,450 --> 00:38:39,146 Maybe if you are looking in your pocket? 704 00:38:42,157 --> 00:38:43,181 I'm sorry. 705 00:38:43,258 --> 00:38:46,318 It's quite all right, sir. Not to worry, sir, not to worry. 706 00:38:46,395 --> 00:38:48,386 We belong to the same bottle club! 707 00:38:48,463 --> 00:38:50,864 Not to worry. Come on, we've got to hurry. 708 00:38:52,568 --> 00:38:54,729 Their route seemed ordinary enough. 709 00:38:54,804 --> 00:38:56,362 Through Kowloon... 710 00:38:56,439 --> 00:38:59,135 on the Star Ferry across the bay to Victoria... 711 00:38:59,208 --> 00:39:01,677 and then climbing high on the island... 712 00:39:01,745 --> 00:39:04,213 until they reached a secluded estate... 713 00:39:04,281 --> 00:39:08,183 carefully chosen to conceal the headquarters of our leader. 714 00:39:08,552 --> 00:39:09,746 I don't dig it. 715 00:39:09,820 --> 00:39:11,948 You sure this is where the guy's gotta see us? 716 00:39:12,023 --> 00:39:14,321 He's a Chinese millionaire. A little eccentric. 717 00:39:14,392 --> 00:39:16,724 He made this out of vaudeville and used chopsticks? 718 00:39:16,795 --> 00:39:17,819 He's a big fella. 719 00:39:17,896 --> 00:39:20,866 You can't get a noodle in this town without going through him. 720 00:39:20,933 --> 00:39:22,264 - No kidding? - Right. 721 00:39:22,334 --> 00:39:23,426 Sure you got the stuff? 722 00:39:23,502 --> 00:39:26,835 Buster, I've got our passport to prosperity right here. 723 00:39:26,906 --> 00:39:27,964 And right there. 724 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:31,533 Bet you never thought you'd have a fortune riding in the old melon. 725 00:39:31,611 --> 00:39:34,171 Just goes to show you. Never throw anything away. 726 00:39:34,247 --> 00:39:35,373 Yeah. 727 00:39:37,017 --> 00:39:38,507 Ring the bell. 728 00:39:41,756 --> 00:39:44,088 What did you do, wire ahead? 729 00:39:52,668 --> 00:39:54,568 Silent butler, I guess. 730 00:39:55,938 --> 00:39:57,701 Fancy little layout. 731 00:39:57,773 --> 00:39:59,968 Looks like it's done in early Egg Foo Yung. 732 00:40:00,042 --> 00:40:02,534 It's a funny place for an audition. 733 00:40:04,180 --> 00:40:06,375 Marvelous place for an audition! 734 00:40:06,850 --> 00:40:10,786 Gentlemen, you are expected. Please, walk this way. 735 00:40:12,423 --> 00:40:13,981 Walk that way? 736 00:40:14,625 --> 00:40:16,957 I could never pass the physical. 737 00:40:20,197 --> 00:40:22,758 Gentlemen, be seated. 738 00:40:24,736 --> 00:40:27,330 What is this, a Chinese minstrel show? 739 00:40:38,484 --> 00:40:40,918 We're dropping. What's going on here? 740 00:40:40,987 --> 00:40:43,218 Relax. He probably has a theater in the basement. 741 00:40:43,290 --> 00:40:46,054 What's he showing, Journey to the Center of the Earth? 742 00:40:59,073 --> 00:41:01,371 We're underwater! That's the ocean! 743 00:41:01,442 --> 00:41:02,442 So? 744 00:41:02,511 --> 00:41:05,002 So? So we spring a little leak, we'll drown. 745 00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:07,810 You don't have to worry. You've got a built-in snorkel. 746 00:41:08,450 --> 00:41:11,180 Yeah, but I never use it outside of my bathtub. 747 00:41:12,222 --> 00:41:15,749 Dig this! Looks like he just ate Lloyd Bridges. 748 00:41:16,393 --> 00:41:18,156 Don't worry, they don't eat people. 749 00:41:18,228 --> 00:41:20,458 - How about actors? - We're safe. 750 00:41:35,180 --> 00:41:37,410 Gentlemen, we bid you welcome. 751 00:41:39,651 --> 00:41:41,118 You may rise. 752 00:41:49,596 --> 00:41:51,325 Just like the freeway. 753 00:41:53,100 --> 00:41:56,263 I trust your journey down here wasn't too uncomfortable? 754 00:41:56,337 --> 00:41:57,861 No, sir, and no disrespect, sir. 755 00:41:57,938 --> 00:42:01,669 I don't want to run your business but this is a peculiar place for a theater. 756 00:42:01,742 --> 00:42:04,041 Where are the people gonna park? Another thing... 757 00:42:04,112 --> 00:42:06,171 Gentlemen, our leader is a very busy man. 758 00:42:06,248 --> 00:42:08,148 Would you please proceed with the formula? 759 00:42:08,216 --> 00:42:09,843 Certainly, the sooner the... 760 00:42:10,051 --> 00:42:11,348 Formula? 761 00:42:11,686 --> 00:42:13,587 - Hey, what's she doing here? - Who? 762 00:42:13,656 --> 00:42:16,454 Who? Her. Quickdraw McGraw, the fastest gun in the east! 763 00:42:16,525 --> 00:42:19,585 With her secret papers and her formulas and... 764 00:42:20,529 --> 00:42:23,124 You went and did it again, didn't you? 765 00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:27,432 You put that stuff on my mind! You got us mixed up with spies and crooks. 766 00:42:27,504 --> 00:42:28,937 Mr. Babcock. 767 00:42:29,806 --> 00:42:32,833 Will you please stop all this babbling nonsense? 768 00:42:33,044 --> 00:42:36,480 A deal has been made for which you've been very handsomely paid. 769 00:42:36,547 --> 00:42:38,276 I know, $2,500. 770 00:42:38,349 --> 00:42:40,214 $25,000. 771 00:42:40,285 --> 00:42:42,276 That's what I said. $25,000. 772 00:42:42,521 --> 00:42:44,887 That's the deal you made with him? $25,000? 773 00:42:44,957 --> 00:42:46,015 Yes. 774 00:42:46,091 --> 00:42:48,116 You'd make a wonderful black widow spider! 775 00:42:48,193 --> 00:42:50,821 - Now, Chester... - I am beginning to lose patience. 776 00:42:50,896 --> 00:42:54,333 - Gentlemen, we have to proceed. - Proceed with him. He made the deal. 777 00:42:54,401 --> 00:42:55,459 Mr. Babcock... 778 00:42:55,535 --> 00:42:59,164 have you any idea of the value of the formula you carry in your mind? 779 00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:02,436 It may well prove the salvation of the world. 780 00:43:02,610 --> 00:43:04,009 Salvation of the world? 781 00:43:04,078 --> 00:43:06,012 Yours is no ordinary mind. 782 00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:09,948 In your incredible brain lies the combined mathematical genius... 783 00:43:10,017 --> 00:43:13,681 of Descartes, Newton, Da Vinci, Einstein! 784 00:43:14,289 --> 00:43:15,620 All those kids? 785 00:43:15,757 --> 00:43:18,157 - Tell me more. - Better than that, I'll show you. 786 00:43:18,226 --> 00:43:19,318 Come. 787 00:43:19,695 --> 00:43:21,788 You heard what the man said. Come. 788 00:43:21,863 --> 00:43:23,456 Got to see this. 789 00:43:31,574 --> 00:43:34,738 Hey, look! A school for television repairmen! 790 00:43:35,145 --> 00:43:38,171 I've seen hi-fi, but this is ridiculous! 791 00:43:38,248 --> 00:43:41,547 Now, if you'll take up your position by the window. 792 00:43:43,254 --> 00:43:46,690 Gentlemen, you are witnessing the Third Echelon in operation. 793 00:43:48,860 --> 00:43:50,953 Is that Roman candle for real? 794 00:43:51,262 --> 00:43:54,426 In that rocket, we are about to send two animals around the moon... 795 00:43:54,500 --> 00:43:57,901 and if we succeed, we shall next send two men. 796 00:43:58,437 --> 00:43:59,836 And from the moon... 797 00:43:59,905 --> 00:44:02,339 from that point of impenetrable power... 798 00:44:02,408 --> 00:44:04,604 I shall go before the United Nations... 799 00:44:04,678 --> 00:44:09,479 and demand that they accede to our total and absolute control. 800 00:44:09,583 --> 00:44:11,710 I think he rolls his own. 801 00:44:12,619 --> 00:44:15,851 Please, be serious. Now, we've made a bargain. 802 00:44:15,923 --> 00:44:20,053 Without the fuel formula in Babcock's mind, we can't be certain of success. 803 00:44:20,128 --> 00:44:22,289 Now please, cooperate. 804 00:44:22,363 --> 00:44:24,889 And without any further delay. 805 00:44:29,838 --> 00:44:33,798 Say, Mr. Ech, I don't want to sound silly or anything... 806 00:44:33,877 --> 00:44:37,711 and I know it's ridiculous, but supposing the memory crackers don't work. 807 00:44:37,781 --> 00:44:39,442 What happens then? 808 00:44:39,516 --> 00:44:41,609 I'd rather not discuss that. 809 00:44:42,085 --> 00:44:44,281 That makes two of us. Well, I'll be seeing you. 810 00:44:44,355 --> 00:44:47,153 Don't be a fool. Where you going? There's $25,000 in this. 811 00:44:47,224 --> 00:44:49,283 If you leave, you run out on your fellow man. 812 00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:50,691 That leaves my fellow women! 813 00:44:50,761 --> 00:44:52,991 Don't tell me you're going to chicken out now! 814 00:44:53,064 --> 00:44:54,555 If necessary, I'll grow feathers! 815 00:44:54,633 --> 00:44:56,658 You might think of your country! 816 00:44:56,735 --> 00:44:58,327 Search your secret soul. 817 00:44:58,403 --> 00:45:00,871 - Ask your patriotic conscience what to do. - I did. 818 00:45:00,939 --> 00:45:03,134 - What did it say? - "Yankee, go home." 819 00:45:03,208 --> 00:45:05,507 You two can stay if you want, but I'm going back. 820 00:45:05,578 --> 00:45:08,342 I'm going back to Hong Kong. I'm going back to New York... 821 00:45:09,549 --> 00:45:10,948 Where are you going? 822 00:45:11,017 --> 00:45:13,144 Back and tell him the formula. 823 00:45:14,922 --> 00:45:17,447 - Still nothing? - Don't feel a thing. 824 00:45:17,724 --> 00:45:19,589 It worked beautifully yesterday. 825 00:45:19,660 --> 00:45:22,652 Come on, roll out the gangplank one more time now, will you? 826 00:45:24,232 --> 00:45:25,597 Relax. 827 00:45:25,667 --> 00:45:28,659 Don't get panicky, apprehensive, nervous, anxious or frightened. 828 00:45:28,736 --> 00:45:31,671 I'm not panicky, apprehensive, nervous, anxious or frightened. 829 00:45:31,739 --> 00:45:32,739 Good. 830 00:45:32,807 --> 00:45:34,298 I'm petrified. 831 00:45:38,147 --> 00:45:40,445 Tea, sir. Ordinary lndian tea. 832 00:45:40,516 --> 00:45:43,144 Yeah, but very refreshing in a hot climate. 833 00:45:43,252 --> 00:45:44,515 It can't be tea. 834 00:45:44,588 --> 00:45:46,749 I got it. The guy in the turban on the plane. 835 00:45:46,823 --> 00:45:48,484 He must have switched the stuff! 836 00:45:48,558 --> 00:45:50,025 We'll get it. Won't take a minute. 837 00:45:50,093 --> 00:45:52,027 We'll be back. Promise you won't go away. 838 00:45:52,095 --> 00:45:54,496 - Can we bring you anything? - Corn-beef? Rice sundae? 839 00:45:54,565 --> 00:45:55,827 A chow mein pizza? 840 00:45:55,900 --> 00:45:57,180 - Be right back! - Be right back! 841 00:45:57,235 --> 00:45:58,964 Be right back, yes, sir! 842 00:46:00,004 --> 00:46:01,096 Sir! 843 00:46:01,172 --> 00:46:05,166 We've received word, the Russians will attempt a landing on the moon in 48 hours. 844 00:46:05,244 --> 00:46:07,178 - Is the rocket operative? - All's ready, sir. 845 00:46:07,246 --> 00:46:10,238 Alert all personnel! Start launching preparations! 846 00:46:10,315 --> 00:46:11,577 Yes, sir. 847 00:46:12,084 --> 00:46:14,178 Sir, what about them? 848 00:46:14,454 --> 00:46:15,546 Them? 849 00:46:15,755 --> 00:46:17,017 Oh, them. 850 00:46:17,357 --> 00:46:20,224 Yes, I'm afraid we must dispose of them. 851 00:46:20,293 --> 00:46:22,090 How are we gonna get out of this? 852 00:46:22,162 --> 00:46:25,064 You tackle the guys and I'll subdue the girl. 853 00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,901 Sir, there may be an alternative. 854 00:46:29,670 --> 00:46:32,400 If these two men were to take the place of the two apes... 855 00:46:32,473 --> 00:46:34,999 we'd be that much ahead in our calculations. 856 00:46:35,076 --> 00:46:36,475 Replace the apes? 857 00:46:36,545 --> 00:46:40,504 That way, our tests would be on human beings instead of animals. 858 00:46:44,152 --> 00:46:46,747 Gentlemen, you are about to be given... 859 00:46:46,822 --> 00:46:49,120 the greatest opportunity for immortality... 860 00:46:49,192 --> 00:46:51,251 ever afforded to men on Earth. 861 00:46:51,427 --> 00:46:55,057 In a few moments, that rocket is going to be sent round the moon. 862 00:46:55,465 --> 00:46:58,229 - And we're going to watch? - From the inside. 863 00:46:58,302 --> 00:47:01,465 That's great. You know, I always wanted... 864 00:47:01,572 --> 00:47:04,234 - lnside? - Inside the rocket? 865 00:47:04,341 --> 00:47:05,366 Precisely. 866 00:47:05,443 --> 00:47:07,411 We wouldn't want to take anybody's seat. 867 00:47:07,478 --> 00:47:08,706 You have the wrong kids. 868 00:47:08,780 --> 00:47:11,078 My nose bleeds when I put my carpet slippers on. 869 00:47:11,149 --> 00:47:12,377 No way. 870 00:47:12,450 --> 00:47:15,420 Don't you see? At least you can die like heroes. 871 00:47:15,487 --> 00:47:19,253 But we're too old to die. If you only knew our real ages. 872 00:47:19,425 --> 00:47:21,017 Why, he's... 873 00:47:21,927 --> 00:47:23,895 Prepare them for flight. 874 00:47:24,163 --> 00:47:26,291 Prepare for flight? 875 00:47:28,568 --> 00:47:30,627 "Prepare for flight." 876 00:47:36,677 --> 00:47:38,144 They won't get away! 877 00:47:39,981 --> 00:47:41,505 Remember baby. 878 00:47:44,652 --> 00:47:47,486 Get those apes out of their spacesuits. 879 00:47:54,096 --> 00:47:56,497 - Dead end. - This way. 880 00:48:06,744 --> 00:48:08,541 There must be some way out of this trap. 881 00:48:08,612 --> 00:48:10,546 Here, let's get into these things. 882 00:48:11,181 --> 00:48:13,240 Looks like Liberace's underwear. 883 00:48:13,317 --> 00:48:15,684 These are diving suits. We'll walk to Hong Kong! 884 00:48:15,754 --> 00:48:18,951 No stopovers. I'm going straight through to San Francisco. 885 00:48:20,558 --> 00:48:21,718 How are you doing there? 886 00:48:21,793 --> 00:48:24,261 Okay, but this guy must have had pretty long arms. 887 00:48:24,329 --> 00:48:26,195 He could tie his shoes without bending. 888 00:48:26,265 --> 00:48:28,790 I think my guy must have had his transmission lowered. 889 00:48:28,868 --> 00:48:31,962 Hey, you've got your own rumble seat. Look at that! 890 00:48:32,038 --> 00:48:33,665 Who followed me then? Get your hat. 891 00:48:33,739 --> 00:48:36,538 - Did your girdle slip? - Get your hat, let's get out of here. 892 00:48:36,610 --> 00:48:39,010 This guy wasn't exactly a perfume salesman, either. 893 00:48:39,079 --> 00:48:41,912 My guy had a few friends. Come on, let's go. 894 00:48:42,282 --> 00:48:45,309 - I can't straighten up. - Regular cement jungle gym. 895 00:48:45,386 --> 00:48:47,684 Here, this way, over here. 896 00:48:48,890 --> 00:48:50,050 There's no door, no handle! 897 00:48:50,124 --> 00:48:52,524 - How do we get out of here? - This way! 898 00:48:54,495 --> 00:48:56,896 Zorbb, is the rocket prepared for launching? 899 00:48:56,965 --> 00:48:59,263 - We're at the ready, sir. - Activate the countdown. 900 00:48:59,335 --> 00:49:01,963 Attention! This is a final warning to all personnel. 901 00:49:02,037 --> 00:49:04,631 The rocket is operational. Begin your countdown. 902 00:49:04,707 --> 00:49:06,903 Why do you suppose they're sending us up? 903 00:49:06,976 --> 00:49:10,241 They want to find out if it's going to be safe for the apes. 904 00:49:12,449 --> 00:49:16,318 Two, one, zero! 905 00:49:37,343 --> 00:49:38,708 This is the critical moment. 906 00:49:38,778 --> 00:49:42,509 Their bodies are subject to the tremendous pull of gravitational force. 907 00:49:46,887 --> 00:49:48,821 Help! 908 00:49:49,289 --> 00:49:51,416 Have you got a headache? 909 00:49:52,159 --> 00:49:55,287 I would have, but I haven't got room for it. 910 00:49:57,432 --> 00:49:59,832 Help! 911 00:50:04,939 --> 00:50:06,532 What is their position now? 912 00:50:06,609 --> 00:50:09,476 Excellent. Altitude, 120 miles. 913 00:50:09,545 --> 00:50:12,173 They've escaped the Earth's gravitational pull. 914 00:50:14,917 --> 00:50:18,786 What provision has been made to guarantee the men's comfort and tranquility? 915 00:50:18,855 --> 00:50:20,823 We didn't have time to change the equipment. 916 00:50:20,891 --> 00:50:23,553 They'll have to use the same tranquilizing devices... 917 00:50:23,627 --> 00:50:25,424 that we planned for the apes. 918 00:50:25,896 --> 00:50:27,865 Put them into operation. 919 00:51:33,570 --> 00:51:34,901 What's gone wrong? 920 00:51:34,972 --> 00:51:38,033 They're passing through an uncharted magnetic field. 921 00:51:38,109 --> 00:51:41,237 Their tranquilizing machines may go out of sequence. 922 00:52:31,868 --> 00:52:33,096 Can you correct it? 923 00:52:33,169 --> 00:52:34,261 Negative. 924 00:52:34,337 --> 00:52:35,998 Then stop it. 925 00:52:42,146 --> 00:52:44,580 I'll never look at another banana split. 926 00:52:47,285 --> 00:52:48,752 Well, Zorbb? 927 00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:52,856 Their progress is very satisfactory. Their altitude is 23,800 miles. 928 00:52:52,924 --> 00:52:55,484 Gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? 929 00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:59,793 You are now in the upper stratosphere, on course, and proceeding to your destination. 930 00:52:59,865 --> 00:53:03,961 You may feel free to walk about and engage in any normal activity. 931 00:53:04,036 --> 00:53:06,163 Let's case this bullet. 932 00:53:08,842 --> 00:53:11,037 This thing must be running on the rim! 933 00:53:12,546 --> 00:53:14,446 Hey, look! 934 00:53:16,617 --> 00:53:18,176 What's that? 935 00:53:18,386 --> 00:53:19,978 Could be my stomach! 936 00:53:20,054 --> 00:53:21,612 Buck up. 937 00:53:21,689 --> 00:53:23,213 Don't press it. 938 00:53:29,331 --> 00:53:32,164 - The rocket's going off course! - It's angled for the moon! 939 00:53:32,234 --> 00:53:33,292 Will they crash? 940 00:53:33,369 --> 00:53:36,634 - Do something, Zorbb. - I'm trying. 941 00:53:40,110 --> 00:53:42,101 What's that big white thing coming at us? 942 00:53:42,178 --> 00:53:43,770 That's the moon. 943 00:53:43,847 --> 00:53:45,872 I wonder if this thing has an emergency cord. 944 00:53:45,949 --> 00:53:46,973 Stop worrying. 945 00:53:47,050 --> 00:53:49,952 If we get to the moon first, we'll clean up on real estate. 946 00:53:50,021 --> 00:53:53,047 You've got to change course. The lunar glare is dangerous. 947 00:53:53,124 --> 00:53:55,251 It can affect them mentally. 948 00:54:03,068 --> 00:54:05,969 You'd better cover up. That stuff's awful bright. 949 00:54:07,539 --> 00:54:12,341 "The square root of 17 times 'X' to the 22nd power over the quotient of 'Y'..." 950 00:54:12,412 --> 00:54:13,777 Get away from there. 951 00:54:13,846 --> 00:54:15,040 What? 952 00:54:15,114 --> 00:54:17,446 - What was that stuff you were saying? - Stuff? 953 00:54:17,517 --> 00:54:18,610 We're getting closer. 954 00:54:18,686 --> 00:54:20,210 Mechanical gyrations. 955 00:54:20,287 --> 00:54:22,312 I think we're gonna crash! 956 00:54:34,903 --> 00:54:38,271 Well done, Zorbb. Now then, bring them back to Earth. 957 00:54:41,177 --> 00:54:43,270 Show me their probable point of reentry. 958 00:54:43,345 --> 00:54:45,108 Are you sure you can keep track of them? 959 00:54:45,181 --> 00:54:46,546 Let's see. 960 00:54:46,749 --> 00:54:50,550 98 degrees solar longitude, 48 degrees spatial latitude. 961 00:54:50,620 --> 00:54:52,087 There we are! 962 00:54:52,189 --> 00:54:53,781 They're heading right for Hong Kong. 963 00:55:01,533 --> 00:55:03,194 Release the parachute! 964 00:55:09,442 --> 00:55:12,002 Submarine 'B, ' embark immediately. 965 00:55:22,022 --> 00:55:25,514 Well done. Indeed, both of you. 966 00:55:26,593 --> 00:55:29,825 Congratulations! I'm so glad you found your way back to us! 967 00:55:30,065 --> 00:55:31,089 It's nothing. 968 00:55:31,166 --> 00:55:35,364 I hope you won't mind my own personal way of welcoming our first astronauts. 969 00:55:36,471 --> 00:55:39,134 It sure beats being kissed by Khrushchev. 970 00:55:39,542 --> 00:55:41,203 And you, too, Chester... 971 00:55:41,410 --> 00:55:44,208 honored hero of the Third Echelon. 972 00:55:52,389 --> 00:55:54,448 "Top Secret. Rocket fuel formula." 973 00:55:54,524 --> 00:55:58,153 "The basic element necessary in maximum thrust is equivalent to Mach 5." 974 00:55:58,228 --> 00:56:01,824 "Atmospheric density is equal to 4-5 'X' times the square root of..." 975 00:56:01,899 --> 00:56:03,992 "679 degrees of escape velocity..." 976 00:56:04,068 --> 00:56:07,037 "of the times 28 escape velocity..." 977 00:56:08,039 --> 00:56:09,940 Take them to their quarters. 978 00:56:10,009 --> 00:56:11,101 Come! 979 00:56:14,646 --> 00:56:17,137 Zorbb, are you quite sure you have a drug... 980 00:56:17,216 --> 00:56:19,879 that will release the formula from this idiot's mind? 981 00:56:19,953 --> 00:56:21,079 Absolutely. 982 00:56:21,154 --> 00:56:22,451 Excellent. 983 00:56:22,522 --> 00:56:25,389 Diane, my dear, your bringing these men here... 984 00:56:25,458 --> 00:56:28,427 has been a service of inestimable value. 985 00:56:28,495 --> 00:56:31,522 Not only will Babcock's brain, such as it is... 986 00:56:31,599 --> 00:56:33,931 give us the precious fuel formula... 987 00:56:34,001 --> 00:56:36,629 their bodies will provide vital information... 988 00:56:36,704 --> 00:56:39,401 to combat the hazards of future space travel. 989 00:56:39,474 --> 00:56:40,498 Their bodies, sir? 990 00:56:40,575 --> 00:56:43,009 Certainly. Microscopic tests of their vital organs. 991 00:56:43,078 --> 00:56:46,673 After you've gotten the formula, then you're going to dissect them? 992 00:56:46,748 --> 00:56:48,910 Purely in the interests of science. 993 00:56:48,985 --> 00:56:50,919 That means that they must die. 994 00:56:50,987 --> 00:56:53,217 Only that millions may live. 995 00:56:53,623 --> 00:56:56,922 But, sir, it seems unnecessarily cruel. 996 00:56:57,093 --> 00:56:59,085 Science is often cruel, Diane. 997 00:56:59,163 --> 00:57:02,690 I don't like human sacrifice any more than Dr. Zorbb. 998 00:57:02,933 --> 00:57:04,230 Do you, Zorbb? 999 00:57:04,301 --> 00:57:06,132 On the whole, I dislike it, sir. 1000 00:57:06,203 --> 00:57:07,295 You see? 1001 00:57:07,371 --> 00:57:10,136 But our duty to our fellow men demands that we set aside... 1002 00:57:10,208 --> 00:57:12,574 all personal feeling and sentimentality. 1003 00:57:12,644 --> 00:57:14,669 Surely, you must see that. 1004 00:57:16,014 --> 00:57:18,608 Yes, sir. I suppose I do. 1005 00:57:18,683 --> 00:57:21,152 Very well. Now then, first things first. 1006 00:57:21,220 --> 00:57:22,881 How do we get the formula? 1007 00:57:23,622 --> 00:57:25,920 First, they must be completely unaware of our plans. 1008 00:57:25,991 --> 00:57:27,015 Yes. 1009 00:57:27,093 --> 00:57:28,355 Before we can work on them... 1010 00:57:28,427 --> 00:57:31,397 they'll have to be in a state of tranquility and relaxation. 1011 00:57:31,465 --> 00:57:32,465 I see. 1012 00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:34,830 Everything that can pacify, tranquilize... 1013 00:57:34,901 --> 00:57:38,928 bring joy to the hearts of two men such as these must be provided. 1014 00:57:39,005 --> 00:57:40,405 So it will. 1015 00:57:49,050 --> 00:57:52,885 Ming Toy, dear girl. A little higher, to the right, please. 1016 00:57:52,955 --> 00:57:54,616 Hit me, Poon Soon. 1017 00:58:01,364 --> 00:58:04,527 If I find out this is fattening, I'll kill myself. 1018 00:58:06,836 --> 00:58:09,738 You'll have to get a softer brush. You're bruising me. 1019 00:58:10,241 --> 00:58:11,731 Is this heaven? 1020 00:58:11,909 --> 00:58:14,343 Yeah. And I don't even remember dying. 1021 00:58:14,545 --> 00:58:18,072 You know, I feel like a contest winner. But it's a little wearing. 1022 00:58:18,482 --> 00:58:22,351 Another two or three hours of this, and I may have to get my lips re-treaded. 1023 00:58:25,023 --> 00:58:27,321 The master says they're ready upstairs. 1024 00:58:27,392 --> 00:58:30,226 If he thinks they're ready upstairs, he should be down here. 1025 00:58:30,296 --> 00:58:31,661 Bring him! 1026 00:58:31,731 --> 00:58:33,028 Bring what? 1027 00:58:33,099 --> 00:58:36,535 What kind of a caper is this? Now be careful. 1028 00:58:36,602 --> 00:58:39,594 Please! Don't drop any of the goodies! 1029 00:58:40,674 --> 00:58:42,198 Where are you going with the team? 1030 00:58:42,276 --> 00:58:45,712 I don't know, but if I'm not back in two or three hours, don't send help. 1031 00:58:45,779 --> 00:58:47,576 I'll muddle through somehow. 1032 00:58:47,648 --> 00:58:49,172 It's rough. 1033 00:58:54,489 --> 00:58:55,888 Hello there. 1034 00:59:00,729 --> 00:59:04,165 - Are you quite comfortable? - Sure. 1035 00:59:04,333 --> 00:59:05,595 You have everything you want? 1036 00:59:05,668 --> 00:59:08,398 A little soft music. That'd be clever. 1037 00:59:08,737 --> 00:59:09,761 Of course. 1038 00:59:09,838 --> 00:59:12,899 You know, about 30 or 40 violins throbbing. 1039 00:59:14,277 --> 00:59:15,835 That's very moody. 1040 00:59:16,546 --> 00:59:19,640 You think a little soft lighting would be effective? 1041 00:59:20,384 --> 00:59:21,612 Hit it. 1042 00:59:24,021 --> 00:59:26,012 Yes, now we're building. 1043 00:59:26,190 --> 00:59:29,956 We want you to be as happy as you can before you leave us. 1044 00:59:30,027 --> 00:59:31,825 When's that gonna be? 1045 00:59:31,997 --> 00:59:33,988 I'm afraid very soon. 1046 00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:37,792 Any chance you cutting out with me? 1047 00:59:38,737 --> 00:59:41,502 Sorry, that's just not possible. 1048 00:59:42,675 --> 00:59:47,044 I got a hunch that you and I could make it pretty good. 1049 00:59:47,780 --> 00:59:49,145 Please. 1050 00:59:49,215 --> 00:59:51,946 - Please, stop saying those things. - Why? 1051 00:59:52,353 --> 00:59:54,821 Because it just doesn't make sense. 1052 00:59:54,888 --> 00:59:57,220 I don't see why everything has to make sense. 1053 00:59:57,658 --> 01:00:02,653 People like us have got to make sense and be practical and logical. 1054 01:00:03,965 --> 01:00:08,698 "Let's not be sensible" 1055 01:00:08,770 --> 01:00:13,640 "Let's not be practical" 1056 01:00:13,709 --> 01:00:17,076 "Let's just start acting" 1057 01:00:17,146 --> 01:00:20,947 "Like people in love" 1058 01:00:22,986 --> 01:00:25,750 "Others may run" 1059 01:00:26,523 --> 01:00:29,492 "From romances" 1060 01:00:30,795 --> 01:00:33,355 "But I for one" 1061 01:00:33,431 --> 01:00:35,922 "Want to take the fun" 1062 01:00:36,134 --> 01:00:38,398 "And the chances" 1063 01:00:41,006 --> 01:00:45,534 "We could be so comfortable" 1064 01:00:45,611 --> 01:00:50,344 "if you'd be affable" 1065 01:00:50,416 --> 01:00:53,716 "One kiss could leave me" 1066 01:00:53,787 --> 01:00:57,553 "As limp as a glove" 1067 01:00:59,659 --> 01:01:04,654 "Anything else we'd think of" 1068 01:01:07,101 --> 01:01:12,096 "ls incomprehensible" 1069 01:01:12,874 --> 01:01:17,038 "Let's not be sensible" 1070 01:01:17,112 --> 01:01:21,550 "Let's just start falling in..." 1071 01:01:21,617 --> 01:01:26,020 "Let's please be sensible" 1072 01:01:26,089 --> 01:01:30,685 "Let's please be practical" 1073 01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:34,754 "Let's not start acting like" 1074 01:01:35,933 --> 01:01:38,401 "People in love" 1075 01:01:39,536 --> 01:01:43,029 "Anything else" 1076 01:01:43,108 --> 01:01:45,599 "We'd think of" 1077 01:01:47,746 --> 01:01:52,741 "ls incomprehensible" 1078 01:01:53,252 --> 01:01:57,382 "Let's not be sensible" 1079 01:01:57,456 --> 01:02:02,451 "Let's just start falling in..." 1080 01:02:03,764 --> 01:02:06,631 "Let's please" 1081 01:02:07,267 --> 01:02:09,360 "Be sensible" 1082 01:02:09,669 --> 01:02:12,571 "Let's please..." 1083 01:02:14,142 --> 01:02:15,302 Diane! 1084 01:02:15,943 --> 01:02:18,468 Report to the laboratory immediately. 1085 01:02:18,780 --> 01:02:19,940 Yes, sir. 1086 01:02:20,014 --> 01:02:21,379 - Hey! - Not now. 1087 01:02:21,449 --> 01:02:22,474 - When? - Later. 1088 01:02:22,551 --> 01:02:23,916 - Where? - My apartment. 1089 01:02:23,986 --> 01:02:25,749 Okay, I'll be there. 1090 01:02:30,125 --> 01:02:31,787 I can't understand it. 1091 01:02:32,028 --> 01:02:34,519 We know he has the formula on his mind. 1092 01:02:34,597 --> 01:02:38,863 When Dr. Zorbb administered the drug, he remembered nothing and fell to sleep. 1093 01:02:39,102 --> 01:02:42,834 Do you remember what you did when he spoke those few lines of formula? 1094 01:02:43,474 --> 01:02:48,070 Yes, I just moved in to him, like this, and kissed him on the cheek, like that. 1095 01:02:48,379 --> 01:02:49,607 The earrings! 1096 01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:50,772 Earrings? 1097 01:02:50,848 --> 01:02:55,047 Don't you see? Moon-shaped earrings. He's suffering from moonomania. 1098 01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:56,485 Moonomania? 1099 01:02:56,655 --> 01:02:59,749 Yes, it's a conditioned reflex that crystallizes his superego... 1100 01:02:59,825 --> 01:03:01,817 allowing the unconscious to come through. 1101 01:03:01,894 --> 01:03:04,624 You mean he's susceptible to any image of the moon? 1102 01:03:05,031 --> 01:03:08,330 Particularly when his attention is sharply focused. 1103 01:03:08,501 --> 01:03:11,197 His mind is in a peculiar state of balance. 1104 01:03:11,270 --> 01:03:15,298 Any undue strain and he could easily be pushed into a state of lunacy. 1105 01:03:15,375 --> 01:03:17,639 Then we'd lose the formula forever. 1106 01:03:17,711 --> 01:03:20,305 Well, how do we proceed? 1107 01:03:20,547 --> 01:03:22,038 Diane. 1108 01:03:23,451 --> 01:03:24,611 Diane. 1109 01:03:24,853 --> 01:03:27,686 - Sir? - He'll be brought to your quarters. 1110 01:03:27,755 --> 01:03:30,622 I needn't tell you what this means to the cause. 1111 01:03:30,692 --> 01:03:31,852 Quite. 1112 01:03:32,228 --> 01:03:35,129 I don't have to say any more, do I? 1113 01:03:37,099 --> 01:03:40,466 - You'll get the formula, sir. - Good girl. 1114 01:04:04,963 --> 01:04:06,157 Chester. 1115 01:04:11,036 --> 01:04:12,368 Come in. 1116 01:04:15,008 --> 01:04:17,476 Where am I? How did I get here? 1117 01:04:17,544 --> 01:04:19,341 What am I doing here? 1118 01:04:20,713 --> 01:04:23,148 Why am I asking these silly questions? 1119 01:04:25,352 --> 01:04:29,345 - You're here because I requested you. - Good thinking. 1120 01:04:30,124 --> 01:04:34,152 Don't you think it's about time you and I really got to know each other? 1121 01:04:34,429 --> 01:04:35,919 We're overdue. 1122 01:04:37,098 --> 01:04:40,795 Do you have any idea of the kind of woman I really am? 1123 01:04:40,869 --> 01:04:42,770 No, but I have high hopes. 1124 01:04:42,838 --> 01:04:44,362 I'll tell you what I'm like. 1125 01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:47,108 I know what I want when I see what I want. 1126 01:04:47,209 --> 01:04:49,677 And when I see what I want, I want it. 1127 01:04:49,979 --> 01:04:51,537 - Do you see it? - I see it. 1128 01:04:51,614 --> 01:04:52,946 - You want it? - I want it. 1129 01:04:53,016 --> 01:04:54,381 You got it. 1130 01:04:54,718 --> 01:04:57,619 You mind if I move a little closer? 1131 01:04:57,754 --> 01:04:59,483 Live a little. 1132 01:04:59,890 --> 01:05:03,190 Chester, you're such a dear, sweet man. 1133 01:05:03,261 --> 01:05:07,857 Brave, masculine, irresistible. 1134 01:05:07,932 --> 01:05:11,163 I don't know. I'm just your ordinary, everyday astronaut. 1135 01:05:11,402 --> 01:05:13,064 Don't be modest. 1136 01:05:13,238 --> 01:05:17,902 You know, Chester, you're the sort of man that I could love. 1137 01:05:17,977 --> 01:05:19,171 Could you? 1138 01:05:19,278 --> 01:05:21,303 Yes, I could, Chester. 1139 01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:24,575 I could love you, body and soul. 1140 01:05:25,018 --> 01:05:27,418 They're available, in that order. 1141 01:05:27,887 --> 01:05:31,379 Hold me, Chester. Hold me closer. 1142 01:05:34,095 --> 01:05:37,929 She'll get the formula at any moment now. Start the recording. 1143 01:05:39,800 --> 01:05:41,427 Talk to me, Chester. 1144 01:05:41,502 --> 01:05:43,835 Talk is for amateurs. You're working with a pro. 1145 01:05:43,905 --> 01:05:45,964 Please, just talk to me. 1146 01:05:46,041 --> 01:05:47,736 Well, pick a subject. 1147 01:05:49,678 --> 01:05:52,875 What did you think of me, that first day at the airport? 1148 01:05:52,948 --> 01:05:56,510 I took one look at you and I knew that... 1149 01:05:56,853 --> 01:05:58,718 "the quadrant of the escape velocity..." 1150 01:05:58,788 --> 01:06:01,689 "equals the speed of trajectory minus the initial thrust..." 1151 01:06:01,758 --> 01:06:05,024 "so that the combustion ratio of the higher-octane fuel element..." 1152 01:06:05,095 --> 01:06:08,223 Go on, darling. What happens when you think about me? 1153 01:06:08,298 --> 01:06:10,357 When I think of you, I think of... 1154 01:06:10,434 --> 01:06:12,026 "dual carburetors." 1155 01:06:12,102 --> 01:06:13,365 Dual carburetors? 1156 01:06:13,438 --> 01:06:14,769 "Marvelous dual carburetors..." 1157 01:06:14,839 --> 01:06:15,863 Yes? 1158 01:06:15,940 --> 01:06:20,104 "Which will enable the intake manifold to accelerate dynamically." 1159 01:06:21,346 --> 01:06:23,474 Yes, what does that do, Chester? 1160 01:06:23,549 --> 01:06:26,814 "Increases escape velocity." 1161 01:06:27,687 --> 01:06:29,052 Those carburetors! 1162 01:06:29,121 --> 01:06:31,055 Don't stop, Chester. Keep talking. 1163 01:06:31,123 --> 01:06:33,148 Those dual carburetors... 1164 01:06:33,225 --> 01:06:34,557 Yes, Chester? 1165 01:06:34,628 --> 01:06:36,562 "Which relieve the digital computers..." 1166 01:06:36,630 --> 01:06:38,359 "and the escape velocity..." 1167 01:06:38,432 --> 01:06:39,797 Go on, Chester. 1168 01:06:39,866 --> 01:06:41,766 I'd rather go back to dual carburetors. 1169 01:06:41,835 --> 01:06:43,497 What happens next, Chester? 1170 01:06:43,571 --> 01:06:46,734 "The escape velocity reaches three times the speed of sound..." 1171 01:06:46,808 --> 01:06:48,435 "dynamically..." 1172 01:06:48,509 --> 01:06:50,033 How much more? 1173 01:06:50,445 --> 01:06:53,779 He's nearing the final phase. But I'm getting concerned about Diane. 1174 01:06:53,849 --> 01:06:54,975 Concerned? 1175 01:06:55,050 --> 01:06:57,814 She's showing dangerously sentimental tendencies. 1176 01:06:57,886 --> 01:06:58,978 Look. 1177 01:06:59,054 --> 01:07:01,284 Chester, you're such a dear. 1178 01:07:01,957 --> 01:07:03,721 Please, hold me closer. 1179 01:07:03,793 --> 01:07:06,455 I want to marry you. I want the whole bit. 1180 01:07:06,529 --> 01:07:07,553 Chester. 1181 01:07:07,630 --> 01:07:09,962 Because I love you. I love your eyes. 1182 01:07:10,033 --> 01:07:12,024 I love your skin, I love your... 1183 01:07:12,102 --> 01:07:13,900 "dual carburetors." 1184 01:07:13,971 --> 01:07:15,097 Do you really? 1185 01:07:15,172 --> 01:07:18,767 "And when your lower octane component mixes with your nuclear distillate..." 1186 01:07:19,376 --> 01:07:21,276 "on a ratio three times the quotient..." 1187 01:07:21,345 --> 01:07:23,336 "of your reverse thrust manipulator..." 1188 01:07:23,414 --> 01:07:25,849 Brave Chester, pathetic Chester. 1189 01:07:25,917 --> 01:07:26,941 "Which is equal to..." 1190 01:07:27,018 --> 01:07:28,246 Doomed Chester. 1191 01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:31,551 "The sum of your numerators multiplied by your square roots." 1192 01:07:31,690 --> 01:07:34,285 Believe me, you've got the squarest roots I've ever seen. 1193 01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:36,828 No, stop! I can't let you go on anymore! 1194 01:07:36,896 --> 01:07:37,954 Diane! 1195 01:07:38,030 --> 01:07:39,156 Yes, sir. 1196 01:07:39,232 --> 01:07:41,564 You will come to the office at once! 1197 01:07:41,634 --> 01:07:42,692 Yes, sir. 1198 01:07:42,769 --> 01:07:44,670 Hey, wait a minute. Where are you going? 1199 01:07:44,738 --> 01:07:47,036 I have to go. But Chester... 1200 01:07:47,107 --> 01:07:50,270 Dear, sweet, darling, adorable Chester. 1201 01:07:50,344 --> 01:07:51,641 Comes through, doesn't it? 1202 01:07:51,712 --> 01:07:54,648 Trust me, and you'll come to no harm. 1203 01:07:54,716 --> 01:07:57,116 Trust me, and I make no promises. 1204 01:07:57,218 --> 01:07:58,446 Goodbye. 1205 01:08:01,289 --> 01:08:02,517 I'll be back. 1206 01:08:02,590 --> 01:08:03,921 Naturally. 1207 01:08:06,162 --> 01:08:09,529 You beast. You've still got it, haven't you? 1208 01:08:11,634 --> 01:08:14,729 I may package it and call it "lnstant Charm." 1209 01:08:14,905 --> 01:08:16,497 Darling, back already? 1210 01:08:16,573 --> 01:08:19,371 You brought flowers. That's unnecessary. 1211 01:08:20,777 --> 01:08:22,142 What are you doing here? 1212 01:08:22,212 --> 01:08:23,543 I just fell off a porpoise. 1213 01:08:23,613 --> 01:08:25,707 I thought I'd pop in and borrow a cup of rice. 1214 01:08:25,783 --> 01:08:29,116 That's nice, but I'm saving all my rice for a forthcoming wedding. 1215 01:08:29,187 --> 01:08:32,714 How sweet, how terribly sweet. Then Diane has told you about us. 1216 01:08:32,790 --> 01:08:34,554 Yes, and better luck with the next girl. 1217 01:08:34,626 --> 01:08:36,184 I have a late flash for you, junior. 1218 01:08:36,261 --> 01:08:40,425 I happen to be here by invitation of the lovely occupant of this cozy little pad. 1219 01:08:40,499 --> 01:08:42,023 I'll tell her when she comes back. 1220 01:08:42,100 --> 01:08:43,761 - You'll tell her? - Thanks for these. 1221 01:08:43,836 --> 01:08:46,237 Where are you going with the greenery? Just a minute. 1222 01:08:46,306 --> 01:08:48,274 That's nice. Don't call us, we'll call you. 1223 01:08:48,341 --> 01:08:49,981 And use the servants' entrance, will you? 1224 01:08:50,243 --> 01:08:52,677 You were acting directly against my orders. 1225 01:08:52,745 --> 01:08:54,771 I couldn't help it, sir. 1226 01:08:54,849 --> 01:08:58,444 I knew that the moment I had the formula they both had to die. 1227 01:08:59,386 --> 01:09:01,377 An hour ago, she flipped over me. 1228 01:09:01,455 --> 01:09:03,582 - I don't dig it. - That's understandable. 1229 01:09:03,657 --> 01:09:06,786 An impressionable young thing falls for an elderly fellow. 1230 01:09:06,862 --> 01:09:09,023 She probably thought you were a father figure. 1231 01:09:09,097 --> 01:09:10,155 Father figure? 1232 01:09:10,232 --> 01:09:12,700 Yes, then she realized you had your father's figure. 1233 01:09:12,767 --> 01:09:14,736 That's clever, that's very good. 1234 01:09:14,804 --> 01:09:16,271 Kind of fit, didn't it? 1235 01:09:16,339 --> 01:09:17,499 - Please. - What's the matter? 1236 01:09:17,540 --> 01:09:20,998 Don't do that. We find it difficult getting help down here in the deep. 1237 01:09:21,077 --> 01:09:23,238 - I still don't understand. - We have to be tidy. 1238 01:09:23,312 --> 01:09:26,077 She was there, I sang the song, everything seemed to be... 1239 01:09:26,149 --> 01:09:29,118 Look, Harry, sit down. Let me give you the scam on romance. 1240 01:09:29,186 --> 01:09:30,847 You see, some fellas have it... 1241 01:09:30,921 --> 01:09:32,354 - Yeah? - And some fellas don't. 1242 01:09:32,422 --> 01:09:35,392 When I get back from my honeymoon, if I have an hour or two... 1243 01:09:35,460 --> 01:09:36,984 I may loan you some. 1244 01:09:37,061 --> 01:09:38,255 Yeah, I'll have it analyzed. 1245 01:09:38,329 --> 01:09:41,389 Yes, well don't take it too hard. 1246 01:09:41,466 --> 01:09:43,093 I want you to stay for the wedding... 1247 01:09:43,167 --> 01:09:46,865 because after all, we'll need a fat flower girl and I think... 1248 01:09:47,072 --> 01:09:48,630 Diane, I want the truth. 1249 01:09:48,874 --> 01:09:51,900 The plain, dispassionate, unadorned truth. 1250 01:09:51,977 --> 01:09:53,376 Why did you stop? 1251 01:09:53,445 --> 01:09:57,746 You were within two sentences of getting the complete formula off Babcock's mind. 1252 01:09:57,817 --> 01:09:59,512 I couldn't help it, sir. 1253 01:09:59,586 --> 01:10:01,952 I kept seeing them on the operating table... 1254 01:10:02,022 --> 01:10:04,889 being dissected, organ by organ. 1255 01:10:05,059 --> 01:10:07,550 That's the last time I get mixed up with a med student. 1256 01:10:07,628 --> 01:10:09,186 - C'mon, let's blow! - Wait. Look! 1257 01:10:09,263 --> 01:10:12,198 Please, sir, won't you spare them? 1258 01:10:12,266 --> 01:10:16,033 You seem to have grown inordinately fond of these men. 1259 01:10:16,138 --> 01:10:18,003 Yes, it's true. 1260 01:10:18,440 --> 01:10:20,931 I do like them both, very much. 1261 01:10:21,476 --> 01:10:22,773 How about that? 1262 01:10:22,844 --> 01:10:24,277 This kid's in trouble. 1263 01:10:24,346 --> 01:10:27,510 Personal sentimentality has no place in our movement. 1264 01:10:27,583 --> 01:10:29,175 Surely, sir, humanity demands... 1265 01:10:29,252 --> 01:10:32,449 I'll decide what humanity demands, and I'll decide it my own way. 1266 01:10:32,522 --> 01:10:36,823 I'll deal with humanity as I please, and I'll do with humanity as I choose! 1267 01:10:36,894 --> 01:10:39,988 And I'll do it from the moon with my radial-lunar bombs! 1268 01:10:40,130 --> 01:10:42,064 Surely you don't intend to use those bombs! 1269 01:10:42,132 --> 01:10:47,036 Just enough to rid us of the tiresome unemployed, the tedious, unwashed masses. 1270 01:10:47,105 --> 01:10:50,632 I'll level London and New York, Rome and Moscow... 1271 01:10:50,709 --> 01:10:55,112 Paris and Tokyo, outmoded centers of a decadent civilization. 1272 01:10:55,180 --> 01:10:59,481 I'll rebuild the world according to my image, after my own specifications! 1273 01:10:59,552 --> 01:11:02,715 How about this guy? We get killed and he wins an Academy Award. 1274 01:11:02,788 --> 01:11:05,622 Sounds more like Adolf than Oscar. Let's get out of here. 1275 01:11:05,859 --> 01:11:07,554 You're stark, raving mad. 1276 01:11:07,627 --> 01:11:11,085 But not blind. I can still recognize a traitor. Seize her. 1277 01:11:11,164 --> 01:11:14,395 Can we get the formula off that idiot's mind without her? 1278 01:11:14,468 --> 01:11:17,267 For the final equation, any moon symbol will do. 1279 01:11:17,338 --> 01:11:19,465 Very well, then. Dispose of our little friend. 1280 01:11:19,540 --> 01:11:22,373 See that the sharks are not kept waiting. 1281 01:11:28,217 --> 01:11:31,186 - How do we get out of here? - The submarine. I can handle it. 1282 01:11:31,253 --> 01:11:32,982 I know. I read the script. 1283 01:11:33,055 --> 01:11:34,420 Come on. 1284 01:11:38,995 --> 01:11:42,021 Attention! Emergency! All security personnel! 1285 01:11:42,098 --> 01:11:43,827 Babcock, Turner and Diane have escaped. 1286 01:11:43,900 --> 01:11:46,768 Apprehend them and get the rest of the formula from Babcock... 1287 01:11:46,837 --> 01:11:48,429 and I don't care how. 1288 01:12:28,917 --> 01:12:30,885 Cover that side. You go up there. 1289 01:12:34,322 --> 01:12:35,516 Wait, over there! 1290 01:12:35,590 --> 01:12:37,525 Weve got to get out of these clothes! 1291 01:12:37,593 --> 01:12:40,153 Yeah, if we could only get something like that. 1292 01:12:40,396 --> 01:12:42,227 That's no problem. 1293 01:12:42,298 --> 01:12:44,630 Hey, Special Effects! 1294 01:12:44,700 --> 01:12:46,601 Us, them! 1295 01:12:48,905 --> 01:12:50,065 Gosh. 1296 01:12:50,140 --> 01:12:52,870 Hey, thanks! You saved us doing a whole scene! 1297 01:12:52,943 --> 01:12:54,740 You see, we'd have to... 1298 01:12:56,079 --> 01:12:57,445 Here they are! 1299 01:13:25,311 --> 01:13:26,939 We've got to get to the police! 1300 01:13:27,014 --> 01:13:29,107 - How far? - Two blocks. 1301 01:13:29,183 --> 01:13:31,151 - No! - No way to get through there. 1302 01:13:31,218 --> 01:13:33,311 There must be something we can do. 1303 01:13:33,387 --> 01:13:36,447 The rickshaw. It's our only chance! 1304 01:13:39,728 --> 01:13:43,289 - Grab the poles, quick! - Okay. Wait a minute. 1305 01:13:43,365 --> 01:13:44,559 What's the matter? 1306 01:13:44,633 --> 01:13:46,898 How come I always pull and you always ride? 1307 01:13:46,969 --> 01:13:49,267 Nature of the relationship. Brains versus brawn. 1308 01:13:49,338 --> 01:13:50,771 You think you've got the brains? 1309 01:13:50,840 --> 01:13:52,171 - How much is two and two? - Four. 1310 01:13:52,241 --> 01:13:53,299 - Four and four? - Eight. 1311 01:13:53,376 --> 01:13:55,674 - Eight and eight? - Get in. 1312 01:13:57,881 --> 01:14:01,078 Hey! Which way? 1313 01:14:02,352 --> 01:14:03,751 Got a match? 1314 01:14:04,688 --> 01:14:06,053 Never mind. 1315 01:14:10,328 --> 01:14:12,023 Hung up, eh? 1316 01:14:12,096 --> 01:14:15,156 That's what you get for playing in these Chinese Westerns. 1317 01:14:15,233 --> 01:14:17,634 They'll string 'em up every time. 1318 01:14:19,138 --> 01:14:20,935 Here we go again! 1319 01:14:21,006 --> 01:14:22,906 Let's hide in here! 1320 01:14:26,278 --> 01:14:27,746 There's only one thing to do. 1321 01:14:27,814 --> 01:14:31,306 You've got to get Chester out of Hong Kong. Go take the first plane. 1322 01:14:31,384 --> 01:14:32,851 How? We've no money... 1323 01:14:32,919 --> 01:14:35,683 I've got $500 in a locker at the airport for an emergency. 1324 01:14:35,755 --> 01:14:37,986 Take the key, I'll try and reach the police. 1325 01:14:38,059 --> 01:14:40,118 Meanwhile, good luck, and goodbye. 1326 01:14:40,194 --> 01:14:41,252 You, too, Chester. 1327 01:14:41,329 --> 01:14:44,196 Take care of yourself, because if anything happens to your... 1328 01:14:44,265 --> 01:14:46,995 "thrust propellant ratio of the atmospheric density..." 1329 01:14:47,068 --> 01:14:48,900 Chester! 1330 01:14:50,872 --> 01:14:52,305 Good luck. 1331 01:15:08,826 --> 01:15:10,794 You two, cover that side of the street. 1332 01:15:11,128 --> 01:15:12,789 Come on. In here. 1333 01:15:16,500 --> 01:15:19,766 You select which fish you want, I give good Chinese meal. 1334 01:15:20,105 --> 01:15:21,868 I'll take that one. 1335 01:15:22,907 --> 01:15:24,807 Let's get out. There must be a back way. 1336 01:15:24,876 --> 01:15:26,434 - You got the key? - Right here. 1337 01:15:26,511 --> 01:15:27,591 - Give it to me. - What for? 1338 01:15:27,647 --> 01:15:28,978 - I'm still the treasurer. - So? 1339 01:15:29,048 --> 01:15:33,815 So if the stuff's still in the treasurer's head, the key is in the treasurer's hand, so give it. 1340 01:15:34,287 --> 01:15:36,221 - Very clever. - Why didn't you hand it to me? 1341 01:15:36,289 --> 01:15:37,313 You blew the stuff. 1342 01:15:37,390 --> 01:15:39,188 - Who's got it? - I think that one. 1343 01:15:39,259 --> 01:15:40,624 He's heavier. See how he acts? 1344 01:15:40,694 --> 01:15:42,992 - The one that looks like Jackie Gleason? - No. 1345 01:15:51,272 --> 01:15:52,739 I think it was that one. 1346 01:15:52,807 --> 01:15:55,571 - Which one was it? - Which one's got the key? 1347 01:15:55,643 --> 01:15:59,080 - Who knows? We'll have to buy them all. - With what? We have no money. 1348 01:15:59,148 --> 01:16:01,639 We'll borrow them. This one, right here. 1349 01:16:04,186 --> 01:16:06,450 Here, what you do with my fish? 1350 01:16:06,955 --> 01:16:08,981 - You the proprietor here? - Ah, so. 1351 01:16:09,059 --> 01:16:11,527 Mr. Ahso. Say, you got pretty filthy joint here. 1352 01:16:11,594 --> 01:16:14,927 How many cockroaches you got in your kitchen? 400? 500? 1353 01:16:14,998 --> 01:16:16,329 I no have 400 cockroaches! 1354 01:16:16,399 --> 01:16:17,764 Fine, let's say 300. 1355 01:16:17,834 --> 01:16:20,429 How long it's been since you clean your chopstick? 1356 01:16:22,306 --> 01:16:24,297 Board of Health gets very mad at this. 1357 01:16:24,375 --> 01:16:25,399 Board of Health? 1358 01:16:25,476 --> 01:16:28,776 That's why we're here, to give you protection. We're with the FBI. 1359 01:16:29,147 --> 01:16:31,274 Fish Protectors lncorporated. 1360 01:16:31,350 --> 01:16:33,443 Fish Protector, FPl. 1361 01:16:33,518 --> 01:16:35,679 What do you want, spelling or protection? 1362 01:16:40,460 --> 01:16:42,724 What's the matter? You want to dance or something? 1363 01:16:42,795 --> 01:16:46,162 No, I just nervous. I nervous about the Halibut Mob. 1364 01:16:46,232 --> 01:16:48,599 They come from Macao with a big load of smelt. 1365 01:16:48,669 --> 01:16:50,034 Smelt? 1366 01:16:50,938 --> 01:16:53,372 - You smell smelt here? - No smell smelt. 1367 01:16:53,440 --> 01:16:56,466 You no smell smelt? Of all the smelt I ever smelled... 1368 01:16:56,543 --> 01:16:59,707 this is the schmeltiest schmeller of the year. 1369 01:17:00,615 --> 01:17:01,912 I no smell smelt. 1370 01:17:01,983 --> 01:17:05,316 You don't? Well, there's something wrong with your schmelt schmeller. 1371 01:17:05,387 --> 01:17:07,787 There's something funny here. 1372 01:17:07,856 --> 01:17:10,417 How come you dress like Chinee? You no Chinee. 1373 01:17:10,493 --> 01:17:12,256 - I no Chinee? - You no look Chinee. 1374 01:17:12,328 --> 01:17:14,353 What you say, I no look Chinee? 1375 01:17:14,430 --> 01:17:16,364 Your eye and hair no look Chinee. 1376 01:17:16,432 --> 01:17:20,062 I have operation, very expensive. I have eye fix, push-in. 1377 01:17:20,137 --> 01:17:21,604 And I have hair fix. 1378 01:17:21,671 --> 01:17:23,662 Should have nose fix. 1379 01:17:23,740 --> 01:17:26,504 You stick to your cockroaches, you understand? 1380 01:17:27,944 --> 01:17:30,243 Hey, the boat's loaded. Let's sail. 1381 01:17:30,314 --> 01:17:32,339 Don't get your protection from anybody else. 1382 01:17:32,417 --> 01:17:34,317 Hey, you steal my fish! 1383 01:17:41,026 --> 01:17:43,221 There they are. Come on! 1384 01:17:45,831 --> 01:17:46,889 Come. This way! 1385 01:17:46,965 --> 01:17:48,592 - We're cooked. - The end of the road. 1386 01:17:48,668 --> 01:17:50,033 No way out. 1387 01:17:51,805 --> 01:17:53,932 - You hear what I hear? - It's Dorothy Lamour! 1388 01:17:54,007 --> 01:17:55,565 - She'll get us out. - You think so? 1389 01:17:55,642 --> 01:17:58,806 Certainly. You can't finish the picture in the alley. Come on! 1390 01:18:02,383 --> 01:18:05,318 Okay, fella. Just looking for somebody. 1391 01:18:06,320 --> 01:18:08,345 There she is. Dottie! 1392 01:18:08,422 --> 01:18:11,881 Well, boys! What in the world are you doing over here in Hong Kong? 1393 01:18:11,960 --> 01:18:12,984 We're in a terrible jam. 1394 01:18:13,061 --> 01:18:14,858 Help us. Some guys are chasing us. 1395 01:18:14,930 --> 01:18:18,627 Killers. If you don't save us, there'll be blood all over the screen. 1396 01:18:18,700 --> 01:18:20,931 Don't fight it. Look what it did for Spartacus. 1397 01:18:21,003 --> 01:18:22,868 You've got to help us, we're still pals. 1398 01:18:22,939 --> 01:18:25,134 You can't forget the pictures we made together! 1399 01:18:25,208 --> 01:18:28,268 Neither can anyone else. That's why I'm working over here! 1400 01:18:34,551 --> 01:18:36,280 They sure don't look like chorus boys! 1401 01:18:36,353 --> 01:18:38,287 Those guys mean business. They're killers. 1402 01:18:38,355 --> 01:18:40,153 Besides that, they're unfriendly. 1403 01:18:41,493 --> 01:18:43,256 You see, the key is in the fish. 1404 01:18:43,328 --> 01:18:46,627 We're trying to get to the locker, and we've got the formula... 1405 01:18:46,698 --> 01:18:48,689 Wait a minute! 1406 01:18:49,368 --> 01:18:52,667 Is that the plot of the picture so far? I'd better hide you. 1407 01:18:52,738 --> 01:18:54,638 - From the killers? - From the critics. 1408 01:18:54,707 --> 01:18:57,540 Come on, there's only one safe place. On stage. 1409 01:18:57,610 --> 01:18:59,670 Come on, get dressed. 1410 01:18:59,746 --> 01:19:02,340 - Right in there. - Yeah, in there. 1411 01:19:03,617 --> 01:19:05,915 You never want to have any fun! 1412 01:19:06,653 --> 01:19:08,416 Check the front of the house. 1413 01:19:24,573 --> 01:19:28,509 "The world is a shimmering thing" 1414 01:19:28,577 --> 01:19:32,571 "My lover is hastening to me" 1415 01:19:32,649 --> 01:19:36,380 "The night is a glimmering thing" 1416 01:19:36,452 --> 01:19:41,083 "And I, the envy of all who view me" 1417 01:19:41,859 --> 01:19:46,853 "Soon the music will start" 1418 01:19:50,936 --> 01:19:54,099 "Is that the door" 1419 01:19:55,607 --> 01:19:58,371 "Or my heart?" 1420 01:20:43,793 --> 01:20:48,594 "You smile that angel smile at me" 1421 01:20:48,665 --> 01:20:49,927 "And presto!" 1422 01:20:50,000 --> 01:20:52,162 "There's that chemistry" 1423 01:20:52,236 --> 01:20:55,228 "I'm warmer than a whisper" 1424 01:20:57,675 --> 01:21:01,077 "I don't know what it is you do" 1425 01:21:01,146 --> 01:21:04,547 "But every time I'm close to you" 1426 01:21:04,616 --> 01:21:08,450 "I'm warmer than a whisper" 1427 01:21:11,057 --> 01:21:16,051 "On the outside it could be December" 1428 01:21:16,462 --> 01:21:20,559 "Winter just having its fling" 1429 01:21:23,470 --> 01:21:28,464 "But you've got me glowing like an ember" 1430 01:21:29,009 --> 01:21:33,709 "For here in your arms, it's spring" 1431 01:21:34,916 --> 01:21:37,908 "And when you bring your lips to mine" 1432 01:21:37,986 --> 01:21:41,582 "I'm blushing like a valentine" 1433 01:21:42,124 --> 01:21:45,116 "And sighing like a willow" 1434 01:21:47,329 --> 01:21:50,595 "Although it sounds a bit insane" 1435 01:21:50,667 --> 01:21:55,661 "I'm misty just like summer rain" 1436 01:21:56,406 --> 01:21:57,873 "From above" 1437 01:22:04,182 --> 01:22:09,176 "if they ask me to explain the magic" 1438 01:22:09,487 --> 01:22:14,482 "The wonders your kisses perform" 1439 01:22:15,394 --> 01:22:19,023 "I'll simply say it's always May" 1440 01:22:19,098 --> 01:22:22,034 "So let the winds get crisper" 1441 01:22:22,102 --> 01:22:25,094 "I'm warmer than a whisper" 1442 01:22:25,171 --> 01:22:28,265 "And all because you whisper" 1443 01:22:28,341 --> 01:22:31,334 "I'm warmer than a whisper" 1444 01:22:31,412 --> 01:22:36,179 "And all because you whisper of love" 1445 01:22:51,501 --> 01:22:56,495 "On the outside it could be December" 1446 01:22:56,572 --> 01:23:01,510 "Winter just having its fling" 1447 01:23:01,745 --> 01:23:06,739 "But you've got me glowing like an ember" 1448 01:23:06,984 --> 01:23:11,979 "For here in your arms it's spring" 1449 01:23:14,125 --> 01:23:19,119 "The thrust propellant's ratio to atmospheric density" 1450 01:23:19,230 --> 01:23:21,392 "ls 6-4-3-2-7" 1451 01:23:21,467 --> 01:23:24,903 Operator, this is an emergency. Get the American Security Headquarters! 1452 01:23:24,970 --> 01:23:28,997 "Specific gravitation has a pull that is equivalent" 1453 01:23:29,074 --> 01:23:31,373 "To 9-3-5-11" 1454 01:23:31,444 --> 01:23:34,470 But he's giving the formula to them now. Listen! 1455 01:23:34,548 --> 01:23:38,450 "For the final setting of the mixture" 1456 01:23:38,518 --> 01:23:42,216 "Add hydrogen 6-2, and then" 1457 01:23:43,658 --> 01:23:48,459 "The rocket's ready now to blast off Set ignition lever" 1458 01:23:48,529 --> 01:23:52,557 "And start the final countdown from 10" 1459 01:24:03,746 --> 01:24:07,375 Come on, no. Come on, before they blow up the world! 1460 01:24:07,450 --> 01:24:09,042 - What world? - You sang the formula! 1461 01:24:09,118 --> 01:24:10,881 - I did? - Yes, and in my key! 1462 01:24:10,954 --> 01:24:13,788 - No! - Yes, a little flat, too, you copycat. 1463 01:24:15,292 --> 01:24:17,760 Come on, get in there where I hung your clothes up. 1464 01:24:17,828 --> 01:24:19,693 - Hurry up! - It's dark in here! 1465 01:24:19,763 --> 01:24:21,823 Watch the window. See if the coast is clear. 1466 01:24:21,900 --> 01:24:24,494 - Okay. - You've got the coldest hands. 1467 01:24:25,670 --> 01:24:28,605 They're driving off in their cars now. You'd better hurry. 1468 01:24:34,447 --> 01:24:36,278 Sweet Leilani! 1469 01:24:36,349 --> 01:24:39,807 - Well, Bloody Mary! - You look so funny. 1470 01:24:41,687 --> 01:24:43,417 You're choking me! 1471 01:24:43,490 --> 01:24:45,151 Let's change into our right clothes. 1472 01:24:45,225 --> 01:24:47,216 You won't have time! Change in the car. 1473 01:24:47,294 --> 01:24:50,354 - What car? - Mine. A tan Buick, outside. 1474 01:24:50,430 --> 01:24:52,194 Honey, we'll never forget you for this! 1475 01:24:52,267 --> 01:24:53,393 Call on us anytime. 1476 01:24:53,468 --> 01:24:55,868 The next time I need fresh fish. 1477 01:24:56,571 --> 01:24:59,131 We'll have these cleaned and send them back. 1478 01:25:04,413 --> 01:25:07,405 What's the matter? Didn't you ever see a Buick before? 1479 01:25:10,085 --> 01:25:11,211 It's absolute madness! 1480 01:25:11,287 --> 01:25:12,312 You heard what he said. 1481 01:25:12,389 --> 01:25:15,449 They've got the formula. We've got to stop that rocket. 1482 01:25:16,226 --> 01:25:18,524 Two cars. You lead the way! 1483 01:25:27,605 --> 01:25:29,732 Gentlemen, I wish you the best of luck. 1484 01:25:29,807 --> 01:25:33,369 The rocket is ready for countdown. We await only the formula. 1485 01:25:33,445 --> 01:25:34,445 Sir, I have it! 1486 01:25:34,513 --> 01:25:36,140 - The formula? - Every word complete. 1487 01:25:36,214 --> 01:25:38,444 How long will it take to adjust the fuel mixture? 1488 01:25:38,517 --> 01:25:39,882 - A matter of seconds. - Very well. 1489 01:25:39,952 --> 01:25:42,079 In a few moments, you will enter the rocket. 1490 01:25:42,154 --> 01:25:44,749 I shall trigger the bombs from here. 1491 01:25:44,824 --> 01:25:46,951 - All set! - Take your position in the rocket. 1492 01:25:47,026 --> 01:25:50,655 - Not today, Porky! - Not on your sister's cat's lavaliere! 1493 01:25:55,336 --> 01:25:56,701 Hey, wait! 1494 01:26:00,074 --> 01:26:01,473 Get them! 1495 01:26:23,233 --> 01:26:25,326 Thank heavens, you're safe! 1496 01:26:26,103 --> 01:26:27,968 Hey, wait a minute! 1497 01:26:34,479 --> 01:26:36,606 Get away from that panel! 1498 01:26:53,166 --> 01:26:55,862 Do something! That rocket's loaded with atomic bombs! 1499 01:26:58,271 --> 01:27:00,535 Sorry, sir. Can't do a thing. 1500 01:27:10,084 --> 01:27:13,054 We've got to change course or we'll blow up the world! 1501 01:27:13,855 --> 01:27:15,254 Help me! 1502 01:27:23,900 --> 01:27:25,094 They've turned it. 1503 01:27:25,835 --> 01:27:28,668 - Look! They're heading for another planet! - Yes. Plutonius. 1504 01:27:28,738 --> 01:27:32,174 - Plutonius? Can they live there? - Possible. 1505 01:27:32,241 --> 01:27:34,972 Is there any chance of ever getting them back again? 1506 01:27:35,045 --> 01:27:36,512 Not a chance. 1507 01:27:37,147 --> 01:27:40,378 I'm afraid they'll be there for the rest of their natural lives. 1508 01:27:41,251 --> 01:27:44,813 Well, all we can do then is wish them luck. 1509 01:27:49,828 --> 01:27:53,765 Nothing but rocks. What a spot for an lrish picnic! 1510 01:27:54,366 --> 01:27:57,961 Lots of fresh water up there. Crazy looking plants. 1511 01:27:58,437 --> 01:28:01,406 Outside of that, Nothingville, South Dakota. 1512 01:28:02,775 --> 01:28:06,439 - So here we are, stuck for life. - Just the three of us. 1513 01:28:07,280 --> 01:28:08,907 At least we'll survive. 1514 01:28:08,982 --> 01:28:12,076 We've got everything we need, water, sunshine, food. 1515 01:28:12,152 --> 01:28:15,645 - Everything except people. - Correction. I have people. 1516 01:28:15,723 --> 01:28:17,691 No, drop the candy counter. 1517 01:28:17,758 --> 01:28:18,816 Where are you going? 1518 01:28:18,893 --> 01:28:20,383 You'll find something female. 1519 01:28:20,461 --> 01:28:22,725 Some attractive plant life, some friendly grass. 1520 01:28:22,797 --> 01:28:24,129 Why don't you go climb a peak? 1521 01:28:24,199 --> 01:28:27,327 Climb a peak, see if you can flag down a gooney bird or something. 1522 01:28:29,371 --> 01:28:30,463 Don't tear it! 1523 01:28:30,539 --> 01:28:32,700 Wait a minute! 1524 01:28:32,774 --> 01:28:35,369 There must be some sensible solution to this problem. 1525 01:28:35,445 --> 01:28:37,709 Well, of course there is! Two fellas, one girl. 1526 01:28:37,780 --> 01:28:40,112 Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, you come to my house. 1527 01:28:40,183 --> 01:28:42,743 Yes. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, my house. 1528 01:28:43,186 --> 01:28:45,655 - What about Sunday? - Everybody rests. 1529 01:28:47,358 --> 01:28:49,792 Yes, that housework is murder. 1530 01:28:50,427 --> 01:28:52,520 I'm not sure I quite understand. 1531 01:28:52,596 --> 01:28:54,724 Really, it's all very simple. 1532 01:28:55,567 --> 01:28:59,663 "We three wind up together, it's teamwork! 1533 01:29:00,105 --> 01:29:04,372 "In foul or sunny weather, it's teamwork! 1534 01:29:04,644 --> 01:29:08,341 "This strange Design for Living does not seem right" 1535 01:29:08,414 --> 01:29:10,279 "it's gonna take teamwork" 1536 01:29:10,650 --> 01:29:12,550 "Day and night" 1537 01:29:12,618 --> 01:29:17,215 "'Cause you're a pal, this time we share the gal" 1538 01:29:17,291 --> 01:29:19,350 "You've lifted my morale" 1539 01:29:19,426 --> 01:29:21,155 "Can it be done?" 1540 01:29:21,228 --> 01:29:22,820 "And what fun!" 1541 01:29:22,896 --> 01:29:27,357 "The team is now a trio, it's teamwork!" 1542 01:29:27,669 --> 01:29:31,696 "Two Caesars, and one Cleo, it's teamwork!" 1543 01:29:31,773 --> 01:29:35,870 "This time it's 50-50 like friend to friend" 1544 01:29:35,945 --> 01:29:37,776 "it's gonna be teamwork!" 1545 01:29:37,846 --> 01:29:40,280 "That peaches-and-cream work" 1546 01:29:40,349 --> 01:29:42,374 "That makes-your-eyes-gleam work" 1547 01:29:42,451 --> 01:29:44,750 "That doesn't quite seem work" 1548 01:29:44,821 --> 01:29:46,948 "That right-on-the-beam work" 1549 01:29:47,023 --> 01:29:48,650 Lookit here! 1550 01:29:51,261 --> 01:29:52,387 Next. 1551 01:29:54,432 --> 01:29:56,195 The ltalians have landed! 1552 01:29:56,267 --> 01:29:59,168 - That's the grape and the twig. - And they've got the bar open. 1553 01:29:59,237 --> 01:30:01,171 Let's break it up, those tourists! 1554 01:30:01,439 --> 01:30:03,634 What's going on here? 1555 01:30:03,708 --> 01:30:05,506 What are you guys doing here? 1556 01:30:05,577 --> 01:30:08,569 This is a local stop, isn't it? Just dropped by to refuel. 1557 01:30:08,647 --> 01:30:12,048 We heard you're stuck for an end, so we'll pull a few threads together. 1558 01:30:12,117 --> 01:30:14,142 Do it on your own loom. 1559 01:30:14,219 --> 01:30:17,519 Say, this is a lost planet. How did you guys get here? 1560 01:30:17,590 --> 01:30:19,023 Special Effects. 1561 01:30:20,126 --> 01:30:23,994 Special Effects! How long are you fixing to stay? 1562 01:30:24,063 --> 01:30:25,691 Haven't even thought about it. 1563 01:30:26,066 --> 01:30:28,364 - Shall we think about it? - Let's. 1564 01:30:28,535 --> 01:30:32,027 That's long enough! Hey, Special Effects! 1565 01:30:37,412 --> 01:30:41,314 "I said it's 50-50, like friend to friend" 1566 01:30:41,383 --> 01:30:43,283 "it's gonna be teamwork!" 1567 01:30:43,351 --> 01:30:45,286 "That peaches-and-cream work!" 1568 01:30:45,354 --> 01:30:47,879 "You can't beat that teamwork" 1569 01:30:47,957 --> 01:30:49,857 "Two fellas with teamwork" 1570 01:30:49,925 --> 01:30:52,223 "Those buddies with teamwork" 1571 01:30:52,295 --> 01:30:54,525 "Two chappies with teamwork" 1572 01:30:54,998 --> 01:30:58,798 Hey, wait! Wait a minute! Remember what we said? 1573 01:30:59,603 --> 01:31:01,935 Look, you got your 80, at least give me 20! 1574 01:31:02,005 --> 01:31:03,768 Hey, breathe awhile. 1575 01:31:03,840 --> 01:31:06,935 Hey, you, the phone, you're wanted on the phone. 1576 01:31:07,011 --> 01:31:08,638 Special Effects! 1577 01:31:09,347 --> 01:31:12,214 No! Not me! Him, you fool! 1578 01:31:12,283 --> 01:31:14,581 How many times have I told you? 1579 01:31:15,454 --> 01:31:17,718 "You gotta have teamwork" 1580 01:31:17,790 --> 01:31:19,781 "That peaches-and-cream work" 1581 01:31:19,858 --> 01:31:24,818 "You gotta have teamwork to the end"